Ten quick writing tips
Someone asked me the other day if I had any writing tips. I thought about it for a nano-second and being the overly-gregarious person I am I scratched my head and said, Not really.
It’s hard to give someone tips because everyone is different and some writers say, never do this or always do that – but writing is a personal thing and what suits one may not suit another. I write because I can’t not write and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.
Anyhoo – I thought about it more and came up with 10 tips that I’ve learned over the years.
- If the couple sitting next to you in the café are arguing about his affair with her sister, try not to move your chair too close to their table while taking notes.
- If you base an evil selfish character on your aunt Stella, please don’t call the character Aunt Stella.
- Don’t cross your legs while sitting at the computer – thrombosis is painful and pain and creativity don’t work well together.
- Be encouraging to others. When your cousin Dora tells you she could write a story better than the one you’ve just finished after ten years hard work, encourage her and say, Please do. It was EASY!
- Don’t think aloud about issues of dialogue and plot while pushing your cart down the shopping aisle.
- Be aware of your surroundings. If you’re standing in a corner at a party and a stranger startles you with hello, don’t say, I can’t help it, I’m going to have to kill her off.
- Keep a standard response written on a piece of paper near your phone in case of that what are you doing? phone call. My standard response is, ironing unless that person knows I don’t own an iron, and then it’s washing the dishes.
- If you need to whine about how upsetting it is to get a rejection letter please don’t do it at a funeral.
- Teach noisy children sign language
- When someone treats you badly don’t take it to heart – consider it ‘research’.
Do you have any writing tips to add to my list?
love this list–am going to read it to my Writers’ Group on Tuesday–they will be able to relate–thanks so much Diane
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Thank you, LouAnn – I’m very flattered 😀
I just went to your blog and noticed I’m not following you anymore (this has happened with a few blogs I was following) – re-following now and I hope WP doesn’t change it again 😉
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Fantastic! If I had a writing group, I would read it to them . . . but I don’t.
So I’ll keep it by my phone for the next time #7 happens. Because everyone knows I don’t have an iron.
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Glad to see I’m not alone with the non-iron household 😀
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I find that sometimes–it is puzzling but glad you are back
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I just uncrossed my legs!
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LOL! I realised I had them crossed when I read your comment – YIKES!
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Oh well, just think how much writing we’ll get done while we’re next to each other in the hospital.
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LOL! 😀 And then we can write a story about that 😉
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Excellent. I do like to have a plan!
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Love these tips!
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Thank you! 😉
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best tips ever 🙂
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Thanks, Annie! 😀
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Such sound advice Dianne! I wish I knew about the muttering in the grocery store before hand. Oops. Sorry person I passed in the aisle the other day. I don’t mean I’m going to have to hurt YOU. Really. I laughed, yet I understood it all! 🙂
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Was that me? LOL
I get so caught up in my stories that I forget what I need in the grocery store – lists are my lifesavers! 😀
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I could not leave the house without a list! Or I forget half of what I need to get. 🙂
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For your groceries or your notes, Dianne? 😉
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Both 😉
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LMAO. Wonderful tips. 🙂
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So glad you liked them, Theo 😀
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Love it!
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So glad – now I hope you’re practicing them 😉
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I love # 4 and 6. I’ve definitely had those experiences. 😉
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LOL! They make wonderful writing fodder 😀
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Writers do tend to focus.
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You just had to include #6? That takes all the fun out of it. I have been known to tell people who irritate me that I’m going to put them in my book and either torture them or kill them off – or both!
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LOL! I love that Ruth! I must try that 😉
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Oh my. Dianne, have you done these things? xD #6 made me laugh. I will most definitely keep these tips in mind, thank you! 😉
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LOL – I hope you keep them in mind, Zen 😀 I think I’ve done some of them without the thrombosis. I’m constantly trying to remember to uncross my legs while I write (but then it sneaks up on me again) 😉
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I know you meant these humorous, but so many strike quite close to home. Let’s see–#1,2,5,6–oh, don’t forget #10.
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Haaaa – writing can be a very funny business! 😀
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Funny, these made me smile. Thanks Dianne!
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Ahhh – I love to know I’ve made someone smile 😀
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So so so funny! I’m hitting myself in the head thinking, why didn’t I think of that! 🙂 I’m keeping these! 🙂 Especially the answer to “What are you doing?” 🙂
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LOL! When I’m in the middle of a good scene I hate it when the phone rings because I can’t think of anything to say because that scene is fixed firmly in my head! I’m like a stunned mullet 😀
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Exactly! 🙂 Loved this post! It wasn’t at all what I expected, which made it so wonderful.
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Had me laughing after I uncrossed my legs! Love them all especially number 6. Ech my tip is a serious one, I tried for humour..didn’t happen. Get up and walk away… Don’t sit there staring at what you have written, trying to analyse if it is good enough. Different thought process comes, when you don’t keep looking at it! 🙂 great post Di. x
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And I should have walked away and returned to answer that cohesively!
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LOL! I thought it was fine 😀
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I often need to stand up and walk away, Jen! I get too bogged down and everything on the screen just looks like bla bla bla and not a story at all. Great tip! 😀
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yes I see quite a bit of bla bla bla too 😉 thanks hun, glad you could decipher it! 🙂
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Try not to go ballistic when someone asks, “…But what’s your real job?”
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LOL! SO true! That’s probably the jealous people 😉
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I used to take it personally & get all offended but you’re so right. They’re probably just jealous!
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All great (and funny) tips!! I think one of the simplest rules for writing is AC. Ass on chair…
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That’s very important Carrie! I’ll have to remember that when I get a phone call – ‘what are you doing?’ My response – ‘AC’ LOL! 😀
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Hahaha, so funny! One of my legs often falls asleep if I’ve been at my desk writing for too long – a painful reminder to get up and recharge!
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You know you’ve been sitting too long when the leg decides to fall asleep 😀 Getting up and recharging with a glass of wine is the answer to that 😉
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I laughed out loud several times at this. Love it!
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Kristine! 😀
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This is absolutely hilarious!
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I’m so glad you liked it, Julie 😀
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These are all great tips, Dianne! Each one demonstrates how every experience in our daily life can impact our story. My tip would be not to tell family you’re writing a book. In my own experience, two weeks after starting my book, my mom asked every couple of weeks, “When is your book being published?” Oh…I love her!
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That’s a big one, Jill! My mother is the same – I tell her I’m starting a new story and she always asks ‘Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet?’ like the kids in the car ‘Are we there yet? Are we there yet? LOL 😀
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I love this!
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Thanks, Caz! 😀
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YES – now these are writing tips to live by. Especially #1: I’m an unrepentant eavesdropper, and also read people’s text messages over their shoulders on the bus.
As for a tip I would suggest: Don’t tell your parents most writers don’t strike it rich until you absolutely have to. Leave their dreams of a jet-setting retirement intact! 🙂
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I’m a shocker in a cafe or a restaurant, Janna. So many people have so many interesting conversations it’s hard for me to concentrate (I’m not a good date) LOL! 😀
It’s wonderful how our parents think we’re the best writers ever! It’s like coming home from school with a hideous drawing and it becomes a masterpiece with pride of place on the fridge 😀 Your tip is excellent. Thank you xxx
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And here I thought I was going to get tips about adverbs and grammar and plot, etc. 🙂 Instead, I got some words to live by. Thanks for the good advice, Dianne (and a good laugh). 🙂
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My pleasure, Maddie! I must have spent every English lesson sneaking off to the beach because I’m hopeless when it comes to adverbs and grammar 😦
One thing I find difficult is switching from my ‘writing mind’ to my ‘normal mind’ – particularly when I leave my character perched at the edge of a cliff. Questions like ‘how are you?’ become too complex for me because I’m so involved in the story. LOL – I’m just plain weird 😀
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Well, you are definitely my kind of weird! Don’t ever change. 🙂
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The worst thing I ever did was share information conversationally with just a couple of friends that I write… anything. All I get now is – what are you writing… why aren’t you writing… you should write a novel… about… And my favourite question – is blogging like having penpals? That’s it, I need to dig the iron out of the cupboard.
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There’s something about telling people you write – it somehow transforms them into agents or critics! I went for about three years where people asked me what I was writing and I’d say ‘a story about ancient science’ and they would say, ‘but that’s what you were writing last time – aren’t you finished that yet?’ ARGH!
Yes – get the iron out, mine is a virtual iron and it comes in very handy 😀
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This a great and refreshing list! I like the sign language idea especially.
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It’s amazing how a simple question can break that intense concentration – we answer it and thirty seconds later there is another one – like ‘where’s my hat?’ I look up and say, ‘on your head’. Then the moment is gone LOL 😀
I’m so glad you liked the list 😉
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I hurriedly open this post … aaaaah tips from Dianne, this should be good, specially with me editing at present… read; quickly uncross my legs, (damn didn’t see that one coming… ) and then I started to laugh, picturing each and every one of them, except the legs crossed thing, can one really get a thrombosis from crossing your legs?? I thought it was only when you fly and the asshole in front of you decides to fly the whole way with his seat reclined… now if you can only tell me how to train the eyes to see what is on the screen, instead of what the brain wants to see, ……
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Editing is a nightmare, Rob! I can read a line 50 times and see it contains the word ‘the’ and then someone else can read it and the ‘the’ is not there! ARGH – I’m sure the fairies steal words while we’re not looking. But because my brain knows the word should be there it puts it there…
What I usually do is completely change the font and font size of my manuscript. This helps me see it with ‘new eyes’. It really works 😀
Best of luck!
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Great list, Dianne, every one a gem. From personal experience, ‘never let your partner see you making notes of an argument, especially when it’s in full flow.’
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LOL! I love that one 😀 Great tip, Bill! 😉
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Great list! 🙂 Some other tips I’d like to add:
1) Always, always put on headphones and do your work
2) When you blank out, DON’T review your previous work. Instead, do something creative- like watching a cute cat tripping itself.
3) If you can’t think of any topic, turn to Pink Floyd or R.E.M songs. Every song has more than a million possible meanings. If you’re creative, it won’t take long to come up with a theme! 😛
4) Tap your feet while you write. It increases the blood flow to the brain, enabling you to work more efficiently, because your focus increases (just kidding! Do it for distracting yourself to avoid over-thinking.)
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LOL! I started tapping my feet while I was reading number 4 – I’d do anything to increase the blood flow to my brain 😀
I love these tips – thank you so much, my friend. It’s great to see you here again 😀
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Always a pleasure, Dianne! 😀
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Dianne, this was so fun to read and I’m certain your tips will come in handy!
My newest trick is using a small, hand held, digital recorder for ‘taking notes’. Much easier than fumbling for a pencil/pen and paper, that is, so long as I remember to keep it handy. Although, I imagine using it in close quarters in a public place might still put some people off. 😉
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I’ve been meaning to get one of those hand held, digital recorders forever! It’s going on my list this week so I remember it when I go shopping. Thanks so much for the reminder, Lynda 😀
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These are fabulously laugh out loud, true to form, I can’t believe I can relate, oops might have done that one, wonderful tips!!!
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LOL! Thanks Lynn – it’s good to know I’m not alone! 😀
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LOL -love all your tips but #4 really resonates as many people think writing is ‘easy’ and they can do the same if not better!
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It’s amazing how people think it’s so easy to just sit down and write a novel (until they try it!) LOL I always encourage people like that because it’s a quick and painless end to a conversation you just don’t want to have. I have a close friend who is a relatively famous artist and she gets this all the time – ‘I could have painted that!’ On dear, it can get embarrassing particularly when we’re out at dinner together and the waiter says it – yikes!
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Oh, these are perfect! I don’t think I could choose just one favorite. 🙂 And I also had to uncross my legs as I was reading. Which means I should probably get up and put the laundry in the dryer. A holiday today, so no day job. But my butt has been in the chair and doing some writing. 🙂
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I’m a shocking ‘leg crosser’ to the point where I uncrossed my legs when I started reading your comment (LOL) – do as I say not as I do 😉
In the chair writing is the best place for your butt to be on a holiday day. Keep up the good work and stay clear of that laundry 😀
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Those are awesome! Totally made my day 🙂
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I’m so glad, Elisa! 😀
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Utterly fantastic, Dianne. I think I can relate to all of those. Yes, even the funeral one! 😉
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LOL! Sometimes it’s just hard to break out of that ‘writer’s mind’ – even at a funeral 😉
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I LOVE those writing tips!! I take mental notes of many conversations. Working at a hotel really helps my stockpile!! 🙂
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I could imagine you would have a truckload of fodder from working in a hotel!
I’m so glad you like the tips 😀
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Those are so great! love it. You always make me laugh. Thanks.
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Thanks for coming by, Char. It’s always a pleasure to see you here 😀
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Oh, I do love when you share advice, writing or otherwise, but I admit the writing stuff has a special place in my desperate little heart. ;0)
You’ll be glad to know that although I do own an iron, it has not been used in, umm, ever. (And I’m British, so that’s extra naughty points for me – my family wants to have me committed)
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I love the fact that you love my advice, Hazy! 😉
I’m glad (and feel an enormous amount of pride as a fellow writer) that your iron gets little or no use 😀 Keep up the great work 😉
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Loved the list but nearly split a gut laughing at don’t whine about rejection letters at a funeral!
🙂
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LOL – yep, I haven’t done it but I did hear someone do it one day and it sounded totally out of place! 😉
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SOUNDED out of place! 😀
We all handle our writing stresses our own way; but for me at point in life when I’m not thinking about making money from writing I find it terribly liberating to just be ME!
Keep up the good work!
P
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Thank you for, the smiles today 🙂
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My absolute pleasure! 😉
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Amazing! Gave me a good chuckle today 😀 Though, in all honesty, some good tips, probably best not to start a conversation, ‘I’m going to have to kill her off’. Brilliant post!
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I’m glad you got a good chuckle out of this 😀
Thanks so much for coming over for a visit! 😉
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These are hilarious! Love to start my day with a laugh! My tip would be: Don’t spend too much time googling your perfect murder. You might end up on some kind of “list”.
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Exactly! That has always worried me. Imagine if something happened and the police do a forensic investigation on your computer – yikes! I’d be arrested immediately 😉
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I really don’t like it when some writers say, never do this or always do that. Love the humor here. I think all my evil characters are really me! I have a relative who must know your cousin Dora. I have to work on the not talking out loud in the grocery aisle. I am going to use the standard response idea. Genius.
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Thanks so much for stopping by, Gina 😀
I’m also one for disliking writing ‘rules’ – there are no rules when it comes to creativity. I’m glad I’m not the only one who talks out loud in the grocery aisle 😉
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Hahah – those are the best writing tips I’ve ever seen! Normally I can’t stand writing tips. Like you said, writing is personal. If we try to follow all the advice we’ll go insane. I love your tip on encouraging others to follow in that path of insanity!
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Thanks, Sheila! I never listen to writing tips and I’m really not good at handing them out (as you can see) 😉
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Brilliant – I’ll remember those tips if I ever start writing a novel.
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Writing sends you a little crazy so be prepared 😉
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Thanks for the invaluable tips, Dianne. Love #1. I’ve actually done this. 😀 As for #10, there are quite a few people who would feature as baddies in my novel, should it ever get written. Great post.
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I must admit I’ve done #1 as well (maybe more than once) 😉
There are a few baddies in my life and some of them have featured in my novels (as grotesque creatures) LOL 😉
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Oh the power one has as a writer, Dianne. 😈
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I love that ‘evil face’ emoticon! I might steal it if that’s okay 😉
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You like it? It’s yours. It’s the twisted one between colons.
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Got it! 😈
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🙄
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😥
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Now I’m an emoticon addict 😛
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Wow, that’s an impressive list. Any chance of a part II?
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I’m sure there’s a part two in the wings! 😀
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I adore your sense of humor! I knew I’d love your tips as soon as I read #1 😛
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Thanks, Janna! Your comments always put a smile on my face 😀
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LOL, You crack me up. I’m still laughing, and I think what makes your tips even funnier, is they’re all true!
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So glad you liked this, Donna! 😀
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I’m locking these ten tips away in my vault!
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LOL! That’s a great idea, Billy Ray 😉
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Number 1 is my outright favourite, but I wouldn’t argue with any of them, Diane. 🙂
Tips? You’re asking ME?
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LOL! I’m shocking when it comes to sitting in a cafe or restaurant – a real sticky-beak! It’s all such great writing fodder 😀
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Great tips, D. Not on writing, but on how to remain human while birthing a book. Sometimes I need to combine 1 and 5, since I tend to talk to myself when I eavesdrop. 🙂 {{{hugs}}} kozo
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So true, Kozo! Trying to remain human is difficult for us all at times (mainly because other humans don’t understand the human condition) 😉
{{{hugs}}} to you my dear friend 😀
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Diane, this cracks me up! I love them – totally unexpected. I think my fav was number 6! But they were all great. I will have to keep these tips handy! 🙂
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LOL! I love number 6 as well – no matter where we are, it’s hard to focus when we’re trying to make big decision like that 😉
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🙂
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Aw, you’re the best. What a spunky way to offer some writing tips!
On #3…I injured my left hip while writing my second book, because like most dancers, I do not know how to sit like a proper lady and typically have one leg hiked up on the table. I refrain from sitting like this now to avoid hip replacement.
On #5…I can’t help myself. I’ve come to terms that strangers think I have a mental illness. : )
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I’ve just uncrossed my legs (again) reading your comment, Britt – I’m a shocker for sitting ‘correctly’ when I’m at the computer! I love the fact that you had a novel writing injury and strangers think you have a mental illness – you certainly ARE a dedicated writer! 😀
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Too funny 😀 In cafés, I often wish I had a miniature directional microphone. It’s amazing what people will talk about in public without a thought to who might be listening.
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You just reminded me about a conversation I overheard while I was walking behind two women at the shopping centre yesterday. One was saying, “I’m really mad at her because she say’s I always repeat myself!” The other woman didn’t say anything and the first woman said again, louder this time, “I said, I’m really mad at her because she say’s I always repeat myself!” LOL 😀
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Haha 😀
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Great tips.. Writing seems easier after reading them Cheers, Aquileana 🙂
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Thanks Aquileana! It’s great to see you here 😀
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