The worst salesman in the world

Tuesday morning I was sitting in the backyard working on my WIPs and drinking coffee (I know – I lead such an exciting life).

Behind me at the driveway gate I heard someone call out, ‘Excuse me!’

Both dogs barked like they were going to eat someone, but in reality they just thought another toy-throwing victim had arrived.

I turned around to see a tall young man holding a clip-board. I told him to go to the front door so the dogs wouldn’t eat him (liar, liar, pants on fire).

He was wearing a cap over short blonde hair and had a nose that looked a bit like a gherkin (I notice these things). He had neat long shorts (not the ones that hang down to reveal the bum crack – so that was a plus), a nice collared polo shirt and clean runners with short white socks.

Here’s how the conversation went –

Him – Good morning

Me – Good morning

Him – How are you today

Me – Good

Him – I’m not here to ask for money

Me – Good

Him – This is my first day at this

Me – Congratulations

Him – Thank you

Me – {Waiting silently for him to do his spiel}

Him – Did you take the day off work?

Me – I’ve retired from my day job

Him – I see

Me – {Waiting silently for him to do his spiel}

Him – Do you ever go to the beach?

Me – No (liar, liar pants on fire)

Him – Oh, okay. Well I guess this isn’t for you

Me – I guess not then

Him – Okay

Me – have a nice day and good luck

Door closed

I felt a bit sorry for him as he went from door to door down the street. What was he trying to sign people up to? It’s certainly got me beat…

Below is a famous artist’s impression of what he looks like.

 

If you know this guy, please give him some advice on how to sell his wares (whatever they may be).

Because this character was so confusing I thought I’d write about him for the weekly challenge – characters

Have you ever been confused or confounded by a salesperson?