Strippers and Coffee

This week’s challenge is an interesting one – Kids in adult-oriented places.

I voted against children in adult places on the poll because this challenge immediately triggered the memory of a situation my parents and little sister found themselves in many years ago.

My sister had turned 13 and my mother had the disastrous brilliant idea to take her on a “Sydney by Night” bus tour for her birthday.

The plan was to get the bus from Circular Quay at six o’clock, then they would take in the sights of Sydney before stopping for dinner at a lovely restaurant. After that they would cruise through Kings Cross – then catch a show.

Sounds wonderful!

But there was a fatal flaw in this plan. The show my mother booked was called “Gypsy Rose He“. She thought this must have been a typo on the itinerary and was supposed to read “Gypsy Rose Lee“. She had seen the musical comedy Gypsy starring Rosalind Russell and Natalie Wood a few years before and was impressed by Gypsy’s ability to dance beautifully, while delicately dropping a strap from her shoulder and removing her long gloves. She thought her youngest child would really enjoy this cultural dance experience.

Natalie Wood – in “Gypsy”

My father (David), on the other hand, was not so sure that this was a good idea. After all -this was Kings Cross, not the Opera House.

But there was no rating of Adults Only on the ticket and the tour was advertised as a Family Night Out.

They had a lovely evening and the bus ride was fabulous. After dinner they sat down in the ‘theatre’ to watch the ‘show’.

Then things went something like this:

Mother – “David, is that an actor or an actress?”

Dad – “Um, hard to tell from here and it’s very dark.”

Mother – “David, that actress is removing her brassiere!”

Dad – “Um, yes – I believe so.”

Mother tells my sister to close her eyes.

My sister doesn’t want to close her eyes.

Mother – “David, is that actress removing her panties?!”

Dad – “Um, yes I think she is, dear.”

Mother – “David, that actress is an ACTOR!”

Mother puts one hand over my sister’s eyes and the other over my father’s.

They both struggle in vain to get her hands off their faces.

Mother – “Why has that man just walked onto the stage carrying a big black thermos??!!”

Dad (now frantic) – “It means the show’s over and they’re going to have coffee!”

My sister yells out – “Can I have a coffee, too? This is BORING!”

Someone in the audience yells for them to shut-up and just watch the show.

My mother grabs my sister in a head-lock (hands still covering her eyes) and marches her out the door.

Then she starts on the bus driver. Why hadn’t he warned them that this was no place for a child? He said it had nothing to do with him – if parents want to take their kids to see strip shows, it’s up to them.

I completely disagree with the bus driver.

So my sister goes to school and shares her story with her friends.

The teacher finds out and is horrified – but the kids at school love it and think our parents are really ‘cool’.

Now – whenever my mother scoffs at the way some people raise their children we gently remind her of her biggest gaff of all time – taking her 13-year-old daughter to a transvestite strip show in Kings Cross.

That keeps her pretty quiet!

Have you ever taken a child somewhere and then realised it was a huge mistake?

Do you blame my mother? (you may as well – everyone else does).

Do you think the bus driver should have interviened and warned them? (I do)

To participate, or see other entries in the Weekly Writing Challenge (kids in adult-oriented places) click here