Skip to content
August 2, 2012 / diannegray

The Author’s Cookbook

This recipe is for writers, but ingredients can easily be substituted

depending on the creative outcome desired

Ingredients

1.5k – brainpower

6 cups – fresh air

100 litres – time

150 litres – patience

Bouquet garni – ideas

3 cups – subject matter knowledge

20 cases – wine (can be substituted for favourite beverage)

1 dash – weirdness

5 cups – memory (for binding)

12 months – privacy

Assorted spicy bits (to taste)

1 tablespoon – image

1 human – editor

Method

  1. Preheat brainpower to 98.6 C (37F) – or until sizzling
  2. Add fresh air, time, ideas, subject matter knowledge, patience, weirdness, privacy and memory
  3. Stir gently, ensuring memory is fully infused and weirdness does not stick to the edges
  4. Add  wine (or favourite beverage) and continue stirring until more ideas bubble to the surface
  5. Refrigerate and allow to set
  6. While setting, roughly chop assorted spicy bits (ensure you do not crush them)
  7. Once set, skim off scum that has risen to the surface (place this aside for future use)
  8. Gently sprinkle assorted spicy bits evenly across the top
  9. Pass to editor with carving knife
  10. Repeat steps 4-9
  11. When ready to serve  – roll image over top (ensuring it includes a splash of ‘idea’ and ‘subject matter’)

Serves – all who are willing to try it

Note: If critics cause heartburn or gas – season with a pinch of salt

Advertisements

54 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Zen / Aug 2 2012 7:14 pm

    Haha, that’s pretty clever! What would happen if I were to increase time though?

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 2 2012 7:30 pm

      You may come up with a richer end product!

      Like

      • ly / Aug 10 2012 12:21 am

        or, like me, you will have an unfinished book that remains unread……………

        Like

  2. mystudentstruggles / Aug 2 2012 7:26 pm

    Brilliant! 😀

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 2 2012 7:32 pm

      Thank you! I had a bit of a chuckle while I was writing this 🙂

      Like

  3. escapingdarkness / Aug 2 2012 7:42 pm

    Youve got a great imagination 🙂

    Like

  4. 1girl4adamwest / Aug 2 2012 7:55 pm

    Ahhhh this writing was deliciously brillant and totally refreshing, Rock on, my friend!!!!

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 2 2012 9:16 pm

      Thank you! I’m still feeling awesome and inspired after reading ‘Clarity’ 🙂

      Like

  5. Drew Merten / Aug 3 2012 12:29 am

    That was great. I especially love the part about repeating steps 4-9. That’s pretty accurate. 😀

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 5:39 am

      Haha – thanks Drew. I liked that part too (and actually had a chuckle to myself when I wrote it) 🙂

      Like

  6. ocdreader / Aug 3 2012 12:45 am

    Only a dash of weirdness…I guess those 20 cases of wine only need a little to work with. 🙂 Love it!!

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 5:49 am

      I actually thought of you and your bookclub when I put the wine part in, Elisa! 🙂 (and me too, of course – can’t write without a nice glass at my side)

      Like

      • ocdreader / Aug 3 2012 9:22 am

        Nice! We met last night and decided we are a drinking club with a reading problem. 🙂 LOL

        Like

  7. Tina / Aug 3 2012 12:55 am

    This may work for translators of fiction (especially those wine cases) 🙂

    Like

  8. cocoaupnorth / Aug 3 2012 1:22 am

    Great list, made me laugh:-)

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 5:54 am

      Thank you – I’m just reading through your ‘challenge’! Great stuff 🙂

      Like

  9. robincoyle / Aug 3 2012 2:59 am

    You wrote up my shopping list for me here. Thank you.

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 5:56 am

      You may have time to order before you go to the conference 🙂

      Like

  10. jannatwrites / Aug 3 2012 3:44 am

    Cute! I see a few things I’m missing (or running low on). I’ve added patience, memory and time to my list…

    Like

  11. Vikki (The View Outside) / Aug 3 2012 5:36 am

    Brilliant!!!! 🙂

    Xx

    Like

  12. starproms / Aug 3 2012 5:41 am

    Very amusing Dianne.

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 6:00 am

      Thank you – I love a bit of light fun to brighten the day:)

      Like

  13. jmmcdowell / Aug 3 2012 5:58 am

    Great recipe. I’ll have to try that one. 🙂

    Like

  14. The Bumble Files / Aug 3 2012 1:10 pm

    Hi Dianne. Love it! I notice the repeat part – lines 4-9. Very funny. 🙂

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 5:28 pm

      That can actually be repeated a few times! ARGH 🙂

      Like

  15. Daphne Shadows / Aug 3 2012 2:17 pm

    I think I have more than 1 dash of weirdness.

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 3 2012 5:29 pm

      Add it! It comes in really handy to have a bag full 🙂

      Like

      • escapingdarkness / Aug 4 2012 3:12 pm

        I think a lot of us have more than the required amount of weirdness 🙂 I know I do!

        Like

  16. sophiamariamilan / Aug 4 2012 1:56 am

    Very clever, Miss Diane! 🙂 And I think this is self-service 😀

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 4 2012 1:01 pm

      Thank you, Sophia!

      Self-service – I love it 😀

      Like

  17. Lisaman / Aug 4 2012 6:03 am

    I would be adding a few more cups of wine!! – lovely!!

    Like

  18. Kendra Lee / Aug 5 2012 2:36 pm

    Perfect recipe if there ever was one!

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 5 2012 3:15 pm

      Thanks, Kendra! I did have a bit of a giggle when I wrote it 🙂

      Like

  19. richarddancer / Aug 6 2012 8:35 pm

    So right to keep the scum for future use. There’ll be some gems there. Might have to shake rather than stir!

    Like

  20. the Jotter's Joint / Aug 7 2012 9:14 am

    Love it … You could serve me up some any time. ~Gail

    Like

  21. the Jotter's Joint / Aug 7 2012 9:19 am

    Reblogged this on the Jotter's Joint and commented:
    I just love this!

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 8 2012 6:11 pm

      Thank you, Gail! What a lovely thing to do – I’m very flattered 🙂

      Like

  22. judysp / Aug 7 2012 10:03 am

    This post was so clever and imaginative. I am a follower now. Happy Blogging!
    cheers Judy 🙂
    judysp.wordpress.com

    Like

  23. on thehomefrontandbeyond / Aug 8 2012 11:42 am

    we would be nowhere without the weirdness

    Like

    • diannegray / Aug 8 2012 6:07 pm

      Exactly right, Lou Ann. Thanks for visiting my blog – I’ve now been having a read through yours 🙂

      Like

  24. Pat / Nov 6 2012 8:31 pm

    Reblogged this on patwoodblogging and commented:
    Just found this and it made me laugh. Brilliant! Hope you enjoy too….

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. Appreciate it! « Single Again

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: