Skip to content
January 2, 2013 / diannegray

A change is as good as a (near) apocalypse

Michael has asked us to blog about three things we’re going to change before March (he’s put another apocalypse out there for us to think about - our Doompocalypse Redux).

This is a WP challenge and, as you know – I love a challenge.

It was hard to think of anything I wanted to change before March, but once I got the old brain cells cranking … well, I’ll let you decide…

1. Road Trips – I’m out

I’ve just returned from my road-trip to pick up the dogs from my old place. Thirty-five hours in the car in the Australian Outback with a Rottweiler and German Shepherd made me wish the Mayan’s had been right. There are beautiful straight roads but it’s a pity that kangaroos, emus, wild pigs, rabbits, cows, sheep, dingoes or any one of a hundred different species try to run under your wheels (or jump through your windscreen). Hence, it’s not really wise for the safety of all to travel over the 110 speed limit.

You’ll be pleased to know that no animals were harmed in the making of this post.

Australian signs

The dogs were reasonably well behaved until we hit monsoonal weather 400 kms from our destination. There was nowhere to stop the car (without being hit by a truck or driving over the edge into cane fields) to let the dogs out to do their business. This was about the time the German Shepherd decided he would get a severe bout of diarrhea. Not one to keep his emotions to himself he decided to shower his problem from one side of the car to the other. Sorry, I didn’t get a picture to share with you but I should have taken notice of the signs.

warning - doggy doo

WHAT'S THAT SMELL SIGN

******************************************************************************

2. Bloggers for Peace – I’m in

While I was away, Kozo, asked the question - Wouldn’t it be great if peace went viral?

I think it would be great, so I’m going to pin that peace sign to the side of my blog, put flowers in my hair, take a deep breath and see if I can rise to his Monthly Peace Challenge. I’ll be tagging my posts with B4Peace to spread the word. Imagine if we could make a difference to the world (no matter how small) just by posting once a month about peace. I was actually going to write about our road rage incident for my first post of the year, but that wasn’t very ‘peaceful’ at all – maybe next time!

B4peace

******************************************************************************

3. Accidents – I’m over and under

I’ve been accident prone since birth. If there’s a nail on the ground I’ll step on it, if there’s a glass on the table I’ll break it, if there’s …well …you get the point…

This is one thing that MUST change before I do myself in.

Here are some of my more spectacular Darwin Award accidents:

  • Trying to clear an outside drain with a small hand-crank ‘eel’ from Aldi that I twisted too tightly – it flicked up and the ‘claw’ end went haywire and I didn’t know where it was until it flew up my nose (try explaining that one to the paramedics).
  • Locking myself out of the house and trying to climb in through the toilet window, only to slip and jam my foot in the U bend of the toilet bowl (fire department).
  • Carrying a ladder through a room to have it hit the ceiling fan which hit my forehead and knocked me unconscious (paramedics again).
  • Licking my finger and touching the iron to see if it was hot, only the find someone had broken off the base and I touched the live wire (electric shock and head injury from hitting the wall when it flicked me off).
  • Stepping out the back door to have my German Shepherd’s discarded baby tooth embed itself into my foot (doctor registered it as a ‘dog bite’ because no one had ever been stupid enough to actually step on a dog tooth before).
  • Breaking a finger trying to catch a cricket ball (yes – I’m a wimp).
  • Crashing my push-bike and ending up with the handle slashing the roof of my mouth (hell yeah – that one hurt).
  • Sliding down a cracked metal slippery-slid and getting my bottom cheek pinched and being stuck for ten minutes (big brother laughed a lot over that one while he was trying to free me).
  • Tripping on my overly-long bedspread and falling out the window (black eye only for this one).
  • Getting a paralysis tick on my eyeball (doctor looked at the black mark in my eye and said, “It’s got legs!” – emergency trip to the eye surgeon, no marks or permanent damage).

That’s about all I can think of now. I’m sure there’s more and I’ll probably remember them when I’m commenting.

Don’t forget to join the challenge if you’re that way inclined – if not, you can always read the other Doompocalypse Redux posts.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!

About these ads

168 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Chris Edgar / Jan 2 2013 7:25 am

    Wow, it sounds like you’ve had some, well, character-building experiences. I’ll bet that they helped to forge your drive to continuously write the way you have!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:00 am

      What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, Chris! I also forgot to mention that the car started making a strange noise 300 kms into the trip – but we just forged on 8O

      Happy New Your to you, my friend! :D

  2. Theo Fenraven / Jan 2 2013 7:29 am

    It’s not funny, but the dog diarrhea and accidents were hilarious. :) Sorry I laughed, but I’d do it again!

    It’s said every cell in your body is replaced every seven years. Maybe, in your next iteration, you will not suffer accidents. Let’s hope!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:07 am

      Looking back on all those accidents makes me laugh as well, Theo – probably because I survived them! :D The dog thing was a total disaster and if I didn’t laugh at that, I’d be crying – in fact, I’ve only just finished washing and drying everything that was in the car, including my blanket, clothes, shoes, ipad, portable stereo and toiletry bag 8O

      I’m hoping your right about the ‘every seven years’ cell replacement because I need to renew myself! Thank you so much for stopping by and Happy New Year :D

  3. John / Jan 2 2013 7:32 am

    Oh man, that’s a heck of a list Dianne! Be careful this year. Sorry about the doggy blowout there, such a mess… Love the signs. :)

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:09 am

      The doggy blowout was something I didn’t prepare for, John (who’d ‘a thought!) It might not have been so bad if he was a Chihuahua ;)

  4. Polysyllabic Profundities / Jan 2 2013 7:34 am

    I’m sorry to admit that your medical travesties made me laugh out loud!! I think an excellent gift for you would be bubble-wrap – enough to cover your entire body. That way you could protect your digits and all of your moving parts!! Happy and SAFE new year!! :D

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:12 am

      Thank you. Susan! I think I do need bubble-wrap (and a full plastic body suit for the next time I take the dogs in the car) ;)

      I hope you have a lovely and safe New Year as well (and don’t do anything I would do) :D

  5. Kozo / Jan 2 2013 7:45 am

    Oh, Dianne. I have to apologize for laughing so hard at your accidents. And right after you linked to B4Peace no less. You must have an angel on your shoulder to have survived that carnage, although she seems to be asleep at the wheel. Come to think of it, the middle part of this post is full of peace compared to the diarrhea in the first part and the bloodbath in the end. Great job. haha
    P.S.
    I treated myself to a break from the internet and finished The Eleventh Question on New Year’s Eve.<bow> I am honored to call you a friend. Your book was everything I love about reading. The story was more than inspirational; it was life changing. Like Cayo, I see everything differently now. The writing was masterful. A number of times I stopped reading and pondered “how did she come up with that metaphor?” The characters were unique and loveable. I picture my future visit to the Farm similar to Arista’s time at Frankie’s place. The dialogue flowed like a movie. I could go on for days, so let me just say, thank you. </bow>

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:16 am

      That is so lovely of you, Kozo – I’m really flattered *blushing* :)

      I love philosophy and I actually fell in love with Cayo while I was writing the story. His journey is an amazing one and I’ve started writing a follow-up because I can’t get him out of my head :D He is a great representation of ‘Peace’ to me

      What you are doing with B4peace is amazing – and I bow to you, my friend :D

  6. Carrie Rubin / Jan 2 2013 7:47 am

    Wow, I’ve done some pretty painful things to myself by accident (like breaking a small bone on the underside of my nose by opening the fridge door–yeah, I’m really smooth), but you’ve got quite the list yourself. Ouch!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:21 am

      OUCH! That must have hurt 8O – It’s good to have a blogging sister who knows what it’s like to have goofy accidents ;)

      I hope you have a wonderful, prosperous and safe New Year :D

  7. The Bumble Files / Jan 2 2013 8:00 am

    Oh, Dianne, you’ve outdone yourself with this challenge! Might I say I was laughing quite a bit at all your encounters with the paramedics!!. Sorry to laugh at your expense. This would make a really funny book :) And that drive! So long…I couldn’t manage it. I can’t believe all the animals you come across. What an adventure! But, I do really like the peace idea. Who knows what just talking/writing about can bring. Happy New Year to you, too!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:26 am

      Thank you, Amy :D I’m sure if I wrote a book about it, people wouldn’t believe it (you know what they say, truth is stranger than fiction!)

      The drive seemed to go on forever – I felt like I was stuck in a parallel universe with no escape route in sight! Every time I looked at a road sign we still had thousands of miles to go – never again will I do that trip 8O

      Kozo’s idea is a wonderful one! ;)

      Have a great New Year! :D

  8. Roy McCarthy / Jan 2 2013 8:08 am

    As you probably suspected you would Dianne you’re getting a lot of laughs here – people are cruel :-) Are those signs all for real. or are they madey-uppy?

    Love the B4Peace idea and I’d like to do something along those lines in 2013. Best wishes for the New Year.

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:29 am

      I laugh at myself as well, Roy. I do the dumbest things and when I ring my kids they say ‘what’s happened now?’ LOL

      I made up the signs for the post in Paint (I hope they look okay – I’m not very artistic!)

      I’m really hoping Kozo’s idea catches on – he’s wonderful :D

      Have a lovely New Year (and stay safe) ;)

  9. 1girl4adamwest / Jan 2 2013 8:25 am

    This was great to read!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:30 am

      So glad you enjoyed it, my dear! :D

  10. ly / Jan 2 2013 8:50 am

    Dianne, Dianne, Dianne… So sorry, but I, too, laughed through your trials and tribulations. Peace, indeed–needs to start at home, huh. Am now thinking of three things to change before March and how to get WORLD PEACE in my blog each month. Thanks for the impetus.

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 8:58 am

      Thank you, Laura! We’ve got to laugh at these things – otherwise we’d cry ;)

      World peace would be a wonderful thing – but starting at home is the way to go :D

      Check out Kozo’s blog if you have some time – he’s fantastic ;)

  11. bodhisattvaintraining / Jan 2 2013 9:02 am

    Ha ha !! No wonder you write :-)

  12. Suzanne / Jan 2 2013 9:23 am

    Great stuff. What insane accidents. I’m glad you survived them all to bless us with your writing. :)

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:33 pm

      Insane is the word, Suzanne! ;) I’m glad I survived as well – more due to good luck than good management I think :D

  13. ocdreader / Jan 2 2013 9:30 am

    I am so glad you are ok. But man those incidents are wonderful fodder for stories! In fact, come to think of it, I think the first post I read of yours was about walking through the bird spider web and the ick dance after… All of these stories are funny – from a distance – but the one that makes me shudder – a tick on your eyeball?! What?! I had one last year working its way into my neck and that skeeved me out but, your eyeball!? I am kind of traumatized now.
    Blogging for peace and three changes by March eh? Must put thinking cap on.
    By the way – happy new year!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:37 pm

      The tick on my eyeball just started off as a black spot that I thought was dust because it was a really dusty windy day. But I just couldn’t wash it out. When I got hubby to look at it he said he thought I should go to the doctors :( He’d never seen anything like it before either! I’m just weird 8O It would have been yucky getting one on your neck – they creep me out!

      Happy New Year to you too, my dear Elisa! :D

      • ocdreader / Jan 2 2013 2:39 pm

        Haha, yes, that is it. You are just weird. :)
        They creep me out too cause they remind me of little spiders! Luckily they move slowly though.

      • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 5:25 pm

        Your link is now working!!! YAY :D

      • ocdreader / Jan 3 2013 2:32 am

        Yay! Thanks for the head’s up!!

  14. Britt Skrabanek / Jan 2 2013 10:16 am

    I no longer see myself as accident prone anymore. Those stories were amazing! LOL!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:38 pm

      I think I almost take the cake for the most accident prone person I know (my brother-in-law is worse than me – now there’s a few stories I could tell) :D

  15. Maddie Cochere / Jan 2 2013 10:25 am

    Dianne, I am almost speechless … almost. I don’t know if I should laugh (which I am, because I can’t help it), or if I should fly down there and give you a hug.
    The dog diarrhea in the car is so terrible! We’ve had dog accidents in the car, but not that bad. And you are lucky you still have limbs! Did you have more than one brother? Were you a tomboy?
    LOVE the signs! :-)

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:43 pm

      We’ve gotta laugh, Maddie! These things are so ridiculous 8O The dog diarrhea wouldn’t have been so bad if it was a Chihuahua – but it’s a 50 kilo dog!

      I’ve got three sisters and two brothers and I was a bit of a tomboy. We used to play some pretty rough games that probably need a post of their own.

      Thank you for wanting to hug me – I need it to move past the doggy doo issue (I had to wash EVERYTHING in the car) :D

  16. Photos With Finesse / Jan 2 2013 11:04 am

    Forget the Darwin Awards, when you need a break from your usual genre, you can write The Dianne Awards – Survival of the Fittest. My daughter and I were in hysterics – laughing with you. I particularly liked the simplicity of tripping on a bedspread and falling out a window. I’m glad you survived all to tell the tales. I hope your quest to remove the accidents from your life succeeds – but I suggest you bake the local paramedics a pie and introduce yourself sooner rather than later. ;-) Happy New Year – Suzan -

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:48 pm

      I could have the Dianne Awards – what a great idea! I think my brother-in-law would win because he’s much worse than I am (I may have to ask him if I can embarrass him in this forum one day by telling people about his incredibly dumb accidents ;)

      I should contact the local paramedics and bake them a cake – early warning to get them on-side (maybe I should just get them to move in with me) :D

      Happy New Year to you and your family, Susan! ;)

      • Photos With Finesse / Jan 3 2013 2:20 am

        Perhaps it could be 50 Shades of the Gray Family – Survival of the Fittest. ;-)

      • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:01 am

        LOL! I love it! :D

  17. ramblingsfromamum / Jan 2 2013 12:09 pm

    A tick with legs on your eye-ball??? Yee gods woman.
    Laughed the whole way through – sorry perhaps I shouldn’t have – but I did.
    An excellent 2013 is wished for you sweetness- hopefully a safer one too :-) xx

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:52 pm

      It was so traumatic at the time that I couldn’t stop laughing – no one gets a tick on their eyeball! It was insane :D The eye specialist was horrified. They rushed me through the waiting room, past old people who’d probably been waiting for hours and so I was saying to them “sorry, tick on the eyeball”, they thought I was nuts :D

      Have a great New Year my darling! :D

      • ramblingsfromamum / Jan 2 2013 2:06 pm

        See now I have vision of you with tourettes through the waiting room chanting
        tick on eye ball
        tick on eyeball
        I can’t stop laughing :-) Thanks honey!

      • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 5:21 pm

        HAAAAAAAA! That’s me ;)

  18. artfulanxiety / Jan 2 2013 12:10 pm

    Ouch. That iron one was pretty dangerous!
    A co-worker always, and I mean ALWAYS, trips at least once a day at work. I thought she was joking, but I be damned she tripped on absolutely nothing that last two times I’ve worked with her.

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:53 pm

      Tripping on nothing is one of my great problems as well – even walking on a flat floor with flat shoes on. It’s the clumsy disease ;)

      Happy New Year :D

  19. mcwoman / Jan 2 2013 1:21 pm

    With a track record like your list of “accidents” I would look forward to retirement and a rocking chair; of course, I bet you could find a way to tip the thing over! Thank God, I don’t share your propensity for “adventure” and meeting good looking paramedics!

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 1:55 pm

      One of my sons is a fireman now, so that may come in very handy in the future! :D

  20. harulawordsthatserve / Jan 2 2013 2:49 pm

    Do they make nappies/diapers for German Shepherds? Of course, that might be another accident in the waiting trying to get it on. You must’ve been a cat in a former life…how many of your nine lives do you think you have left? If I was wearing a hat I would’ve taken it off to you several times while reading this post! Be well, be safe, be peaceful…and here’s to an accidentfree, laughterful 2013:-)

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 5:27 pm

      I really need an accident free 2013 and beyond…..

      Thank you for all the best wishes (I certainly need them) :D

  21. jannatwrites / Jan 2 2013 3:14 pm

    Holy cow – I can’t believe you’re still alive :) The tick in the eye makes me squeamish. (I read a story about a spider that crawled into someone’s ear and I was ready to start wearing earplugs 24/7).

    I can’t imagine the doggie poo problem…nasty! Of course it couldn’t be an ‘ankle biter’ dog, now could it? We have this dog (a yorkshire terrier/poodle mix) who gets carsick. Well, I was taking her over to a relative’s house so they could watch her for us and mid left turn, the dog puked on me…and my steering wheel, the seat and the side door panel. I about wrecked my car (right across from a police station) but I managed to complete the turn (with only one damaged tire from hitting the curb.) I never, ever drove that dog anywhere again. Of course, she’s never barfed on my husband…where’s the fairness in life?

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 5:33 pm

      Oh dear! Dogs in cars can be a nightmare. I’m so glad the two of them weren’t car sick – what a bigger nightmare that would have been. You must have been so shocked when she was sick on you and I’m so glad you didn’t crash the car!

      The eyeball tick was sick a freakish thing – it was only tiny and blew into my eye with a big dusty wind one afternoon and I didn’t notice it until the morning 8O

  22. cashbackmonster / Jan 2 2013 3:36 pm

    My favourite is the one where you merely trip on a bedspread but fall out the window for it! hilarious! sorry xoxox

    but I also thought it was sweet that even though your brother was laughing, he still helped you get free of the slippery-slip.

    • diannegray / Jan 2 2013 5:40 pm

      Apparently it’s not unusual for people to fall over in the bedroom when they’re getting dressed – tripping over the bedspread is also quite common, but then falling out the window was a bit of a freakish accident! :D

      My big brother and I were very close when we were kids :D

      Thanks so much for stopping by – Happy New Year! :D

  23. Adam S / Jan 2 2013 3:42 pm

    Welcome back to the grind! 75% of those signs, I’m guessing anyway, were funded by the Steve Irwin foundation. Croiky!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:34 am

      LOL! The only thing we didn’t see on the road was a crocodile! :D

  24. bulldogsturf / Jan 2 2013 4:01 pm

    I am sorry to read and laugh at your bad luck or accidents… but I got a picture of an Alsatian with diarrhea and spray painting the back seat of a car… as for your mishaps, thanks for a laugh to start the year… and may yours be accident free… Stepping on a dog tooth, that really is something different…

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:37 am

      We have to laugh about my accidents (I do, because I survived them) ;)

      The doggy doo was a nightmare because he’s such a big dog and he kept trying to ‘get away’ from his mess! :D

  25. justinwriter / Jan 2 2013 4:06 pm

    You certainly have had your share of misfortunes. Are you sure you’re not a cat? ;)
    Some of those road signs remind me of near accidents, especially the cow and car meeting.
    Peace and Happy New Year! :)

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:40 am

      I like the one of the car and cow meeting – there were a few of those. When you come around a bend at 2am doing 110 and there’s a cow standing on the road (and you have a loaded trailer and the dogs pooing themselves in the back seat)….well…it’s not a good feeling! ;)

      Have a wonderful New Year, Justin! :D

  26. Denise Hisey / Jan 2 2013 5:43 pm

    May I suggest you reconsider the road trips? You’ll have much fodder for future posts! ;-)
    You totally crack me up with your stories, Dianne!!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:43 am

      LOL! The road trips may be reconsidered – but next time I’ll be more prepared (maybe a doggy diaper) :D

      Have a wonderful New Year, Denise! :D

  27. Zen A. / Jan 2 2013 7:37 pm

    Oh my goodness, and I thought MY accidents were bad. I can’t even imagine how painful some of these might’ve been! Also… that road trip certainly sounds less than pleasant.
    Happy New Year, Dianne! Here’s to a wonderful, accident-free year!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:44 am

      I really need and accident free year (this year and every year after), Zen :D

      You have a wonderful New Year and thank you so much for all your support in 2012 ;)

  28. mrscarmichael / Jan 2 2013 11:38 pm

    WELL your dog poo one beats mine hands down. What is it about Christmas and dog bum?
    I love your list and again it beats anything I could write but it does make me wonder how so many of us survived until adulthood.
    A few words of advice for 2013 …….. watch where you’re going!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:49 am

      I’m not sure why the dogs decide to do this at Christmas – maybe they’re trying to bring us back to earth after all the wonderful celebrations ;)

      I agree with you about childhoods. I know it’s more good luck than good managements that we’re able to survive to adulthood (and that’s 100% true in my case!)

      Have a wonderful New Year! :D

  29. Anna Scott Graham / Jan 3 2013 12:37 am

    Now this is a POST! First, so sorry about the monsoon and your dogs; makes our adventures with Buttercup seems absolutely tame! Next, that collage of signs is amazing; we rarely seen any of those here, even that three-carriage lorry looks intriguing! Next, oh my goodness, I cringed and winced and grimaced; are any of your characters similarly plagued?

    And lastly, but certainly not leastly, I love the Bloggers For Peace; I’ll put some flowers in my hair too, and start thinking about a post. If we don’t push for it, no one else will. (Oh no, I feel a story coming on, hey, wait a minute, it’s too early in the morning, I haven’t even had any tea yet!!!)

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 6:55 am

      Oh – have a cup of tea, Anna and settle back and relax into a new post ;)

      The big lorry is called a ‘road train’ and they are absolutely HUGE. They take supplies to the outback and it’s an awesome and scary sight seeing one coming towards you (although I’m an absolute wimp when it comes to driving on the highway).

      I think if I gave my characters my accident prone side no one would believe that someone could be that stupid! :D

      Bloggers for Peace is a great idea from Kozo – if we can all just do one thing each it would be lovely, we probably won’t change the world, but there’s no harm trying :D

  30. LjS / Jan 3 2013 3:24 am

    Oh man! I would say it’s time for a change!

  31. starproms / Jan 3 2013 4:21 am

    I think you deserve a break. I’ve dealt with my dog being sick in the car, but not the other. My sympathies. Where on earth do you start to clear that up?

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:05 am

      The first thing when we arrived was to get the dogs in the bath (both of them were yukky) – then we pulled everything out of the car (and threw some things away) and washed things. Then a good long shower was in order :D

      It’s time for a break now and I’m hoping my new year gets better from here on in ;)

      Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family, Oma :D

  32. Sheila / Jan 3 2013 5:09 am

    The part about wishing the dogs and wishing the Mayans had been right made me laugh. I’ve encountered dog diarrhea in the car and once in a hotel room where everything was white (which quickly became white with brown puppy prints everywhere) so I can sympathize. Wishing you a happy and safe new year!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:14 am

      Oh no, those brown puppy prints in the hotel sound like a disaster! I could imagine the stark contrast in an all white room 8O

      Happy New Year to you too, Sheila! Thank you so much for dropping by to read and comment ;)

  33. billyraychitwood1 / Jan 3 2013 6:15 am

    Hilarious! Thanks for NOT taking the ‘doggie D’ photo! Hope your 2013 is all you want it be.

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:16 am

      LOL! I didn’t think it would be appreciated by those who were suffering the after-effects of New Year Eve! :D

      Have a wonderful 2013, Billy Ray! :D

  34. lifeonwry.com / Jan 3 2013 6:46 am

    Holy crap, I think we’re related. I am the queen of accidental self injury.

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:17 am

      LOL! You may have to write a post on it one day so we can compare :D

      Happy New Year! ;)

  35. lifeonwry.com / Jan 3 2013 6:48 am

    ps: And I’ve got a dog story from this Christmas that is too disgusting too share. Let’s just say it involved some dog poo as well.

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:19 am

      Oh dear – did it end up in your mouth? I only ask because my son did this once when one of the little puppies had been in his room and he dropped some chocolates on the floor … and … the rest is history! ARGH! :D

  36. moderndayruth / Jan 3 2013 6:59 am

    What a great post, Dianne! Geez, 35h in the car with 2 dogs… I can imagine the smell – something similar happened to me (which is – the same, only with two cats puking and ****ing all over the car)… Ugh. :(
    Oh, i need to check about the Bloggers4Peace – i might join the cyber hippie-community! (Is virtual ganja allowed? :D) Oh, and – last but not the least – i am SO GLAD you are unharmed after all these calamities! My mom is like that – i have a theory that she simply can’t be bothered to be careful – but luckily for her, like you, she’s lucky too, as if angels themselves are watching over you two! ;) xxxx

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 7:23 am

      Hey Lena – you made me laugh so loud when you asked is there was virtual ganja allowed :D

      I love your theory about your mother and I’m thinking this probably applies to me as well – I’m trying very hard as I get older to be more careful and I’m determined to make this year accident free! ;)

      I’m so glad someone else has experienced the ‘car thing’ and knows first-hand what it was like ;)

      Happy New Year, my dear!!! :D

  37. Char / Jan 3 2013 8:13 am

    You are a trooper with those dogs. And after reading about all your other mishaps…I’m glad you’re still alive. Loved all the wildlife signs. I don’t see those here in Idaho.

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 8:59 am

      There were so many animals on the road, Char. I think the big kangaroos, wild pigs and cows scared me the most because they’re so big and just run onto the road out of the blue 8O

      I’m glad I’m still alive after all my mishaps as well – 2013 will be an accident free year! (touch wood) :D

  38. Rejoice For The Day / Jan 3 2013 9:49 am

    Whoa! Those are some pretty major accidents. That tick in the eye one made me cringe!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 3:06 pm

      The tick was very cringe-worthy! ;)

      Thank you so much for stopping by to comment and Happy New Year! :D

  39. cestgigi / Jan 3 2013 10:26 am

    I really enjoyed this post- I wrote a couple of posts about semi-growing up in the outback of Australia on my other blog, ChezGigi.com. The Opera House was just a skeleton then. Didn’t realize how great it was until much later, living right by the beach. My brother was the first American to be on an Australian lifeguard team. Love the Bloggers For Peace. You should share that on the Hippie Peace Freaks page on Facebook. They’d love it!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 3:11 pm

      I’m going to go over and take a look at your other blog – it sounds very interesting :D

      Well done to your brother, I bet he loved that job. I’ll check out the Hippie Peace Freaks page on Facebook – thanks so much for the suggestion :D

      • cestgigi / Jan 4 2013 4:41 am

        There are two hundred plus posts there, so doing a search with ‘Australia’ in it, should bring it up- Thank you!

  40. agjorgenson / Jan 3 2013 10:42 am

    Yikes! I’ve driven across a small portion of the Australian Outback, and I can’t quite imagine doing it with a sick dog. Good luck with the three changes. Here are mine: 1) drink more cappuccino. 2) eat more chocolate 3) drink more red wine. Wish me luck!

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 3:16 pm

      It wasn’t a pleasant experience, Allan…

      I love your three changes – I might have to steal them! ;)

  41. jmmcdowell / Jan 3 2013 11:35 am

    Oh, my gosh, I would have been a total wreck in that car—that doggie crisis would trigger my sensitive gag reflex for sure! :O

    I don’t begin to approach the number of accidents you’ve had, but I did break a finger trying to catch a softball once. And I once threw out my back when I leaned over a table to measure the diameter of a pot in a Museum Studies course.

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 3:32 pm

      I’m actually really surprised hubby didn’t puke with the smell because he absolutely hates that smell and it makes him gag. I’m pretty sure he was so over the entire trip that he was probably too tired and flicked off to even get up the energy to do it 8O

      I’m glad someone else has broken a finger catching a ball (even though I’m sorry it happened to you) because it’s makes me feel more ‘normal’.

      OUCH – putting your back out would have hurt, that’s an enduring pain and no matter what you do it’s really hard to get comfortable…

  42. donnajeanmcdunn / Jan 3 2013 1:26 pm

    OMG, Dianne, I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically while reading your post. It was the funniest blog post I’ve ever read. It’s too bad you didn’t get any of that on video, you’d be a winner on Funnest Home Videos for certain. How on earth have you survived? You have more lives than any cat I’ve ever known and I’m sure statistics would prove you should be dead. I’m very very very glad you are not however and I hope from now on things go a lot easier and safer for you.

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 4:28 pm

      Thanks, Donna Jean – I’m so glad the post gave you a good chuckle! :D You know what they say ‘what doesn’t kill us…’

      I would love to have caught any of these on Funniest Home Videos, I’d be a very rich woman by now.

      I’m very glad I’m not dead, either! :D

      Happy New Year to you, my friend ;)

  43. on thehomefrontandbeyond / Jan 3 2013 1:43 pm

    Diane — I have found my klotz sister — though I have not been hurt as badly as you — dear girl, slow down and do not add more to the list. Oh my goodness–may 2013 be kinder to you–and I feel really mean doing this but lol

    • diannegray / Jan 3 2013 4:32 pm

      YAY! I have a klotz sister! :D {hugs}

      Slow down is the secret – I’m constantly on the run (had I been born in more recent times they would probably would have diagnosed me with ADD!)

      You have a great 2013 as well! :D

      • on thehomefrontandbeyond / Jan 3 2013 9:02 pm

        I find the kitchen a particularly hazardous place for me to be–that is why I try to avoid it as much as possible –that is my story and I am sticking to it!

      • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 7:20 am

        LOL! Me too – no cooking for me ;)

  44. Spider42 / Jan 3 2013 10:05 pm

    Happy New Solar Revolution!!
    Great to know no animals were harmed in process of this entertaining post, you really took the challenge to heart it seems. :)
    Your car has my deepest condolences for what sounds like one hell of an unfortunate situation by the way…
    I really like the b4peace idea, not too much of an optimist myself but I like to hope for the best and try and live well and treat others as best I can so kudos and I’m going to put that image up on my blog as well – if it helps spread the idea and leads to something, fantastic – if not, it’s just an idea and a minuscule effort that I’m happy to make. Never hurts to try right?
    The accident prone thing, by the way, actually reminds me a lot of my sister who is very smart and reliable and all, but has the amazing ability to trip over herself at the strangest moments!
    Anyway, I’ll see you around the webs.
    Cheers…

    • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 7:25 am

      I feel my car needs a bit of a hug after what it’s been through. It was also making strange noises all the way back and I found out it was the wheel bearing (and I thought it was just moaning from the trauma) ;)

      Kozo is doing a great job with B4Peace – I guess all we can do is try to improve this crazy mixed up world and we’ve gotta start somewhere.

      Your sister sounds wonderful! Let me know if she has a blog :D

      • Spider42 / Jan 4 2013 5:25 pm

        Will do if she ever does, but an online personality she’s not. :D Not the blogging type per-se.

  45. jonahshome / Jan 4 2013 1:11 am

    Thank you for this wonderful post Dianne. I came here, purely by chance, via my daughter Tracy at http://Fecthis.wordpress.com and Kozo at http://everydaygurus.com
    Your post has given me my first real laugh of 2013 and I look forward to following you and reading your books. I can relate wholeheartedly with your Road Trip experience, having had a similar experience on a 1000 km journey home from Scotland with two German Shepherds. Having been a paramedic, I can believe all your misfortunes (you are not alone.) :)
    All very best wishes to you and yours for 2013. May it be peaceful, productive and ‘safe’ for all of you.
    Chris.

    • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 7:32 am

      Chris, you are a gem! I’ve only been following Tracy’s post for a short time, but I feel so much love and such a beautiful connection between the two of you. She has become an inspiration to a lot of people (including me).

      I’m so glad you understand what it’s like traveling a long way with dogs in the car. I’ve been dreading it for a long time. I would have sent them by plane, but the last time I did that (twenty years ago) the airline didn’t do the best thing by my poor puppy (another post in the future maybe) :(

      It’s good to know you used to be a paramedic – if I have any ‘virtual mishaps’ I’ll know who to call!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to come by and say hello :D

  46. JasmineKyleSings / Jan 4 2013 3:15 am

    Man you got a LOT going on!!! Happy New Year and COOL ROAD SIGN IMAGES!!!

    • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 7:34 am

      Thanks, Jasmine! Have a great new year!! :D

  47. Rick Mallery / Jan 4 2013 5:00 am

    I love the post, Dianne. It sounds like you had an eventful holiday season. I hope your writing is going well. I’ve finished writing my follow-up to Becomes the Happy Man. Now I’m just editing like mad.

    • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 7:40 am

      I’ve started two new stories – but ‘started’ is only where I’m up to at the moment. My life has been crazy busy for the last month and now I’ve had a change of plan with the house. It’s too damaged to fix, so I’m moving a Queenslander onto the block! I’ll have to get some picks of them unloading it off the big truck and plonking it down. What a HUGE job 8O

      Can’t wait to read the follow-up of Becomes the Happy Man – when will it be published (or do you want me to do a quick proof before then)?

      • Rick Mallery / Jan 4 2013 8:14 am

        I’ll put you on the list of my pre-publish readers! I plan to go through it several more times before sending it out to friends, so it might be a couple months yet, but I’ll certainly be happy to get your feedback ASAP.

        I had to look up what a Queenslander is. At first it sounded like a kind of pre-fabricated modular home, but it looks much more charming than that! Is it an older home from the interwar period that you are moving onto your land? How old is the home? Or have I still misunderstood what a Queenslander is?

      • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 1:30 pm

        Sorry about the confusion, Rick. A Queenslander is indeed a very old stable and solid wood house that usually stands high off the ground. The one we’re moving is over 100 years old and in lovely condition. It has been a Rugby Union club for about 50 years and it has a bar (that’ll be handy!) It’s all wood inside and out and has surrounding 4 metre verandas and French doors. Truly spectacular. They were building a new club and were going to demolish it, so we grabbed it for free :D

      • Rick Mallery / Jan 4 2013 1:40 pm

        Wow, that’s awesome! I hope you put up plenty of photos in a future post. :-)

      • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 2:53 pm

        Don’t worry – in about two weeks everyone will be inundated (and probably bored with whole thing) ;)

      • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 1:31 pm

        PS – there’s only been one murder there (that I know of) so it’ll be interesting to see if the old place is haunted ;)

      • Rick Mallery / Jan 4 2013 1:41 pm

        Oh, I’m sure you can come up with some compelling story about the house being haunted even if it isn’t for real.

      • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 2:53 pm

        Hahaha! I’m sure I will!

  48. nrhatch / Jan 4 2013 12:45 pm

    I’d probably swear off road trips with dogs for the time being. Poor pup. Poor you.

    • diannegray / Jan 4 2013 1:35 pm

      No more doggy road trips for me, Nancy. EVER! :D

  49. EJ / Jan 4 2013 11:13 pm

    Just in case I’d forgotten how huge Australia is… 35 hours in the car with 2 dogs, I can’t even begin to imagine it! I think 35 hours would be the driving time to Russia from the UK – crossing a variety of borders in the effort.
    The tick on the eyeball did make me shudder – bleurgh, is the word, I think! Perhaps you need some sort of protective clothing- overalls, steel-toed boots, hard hat, goggles. Or a stunt double ;-)

    • diannegray / Jan 5 2013 7:30 am

      A stunt double – now that’s a great idea! :D

      Australia is HUGE. We would get to points where the closest towns where hundreds of miles away and I thought ‘if we break down now, we’ve got no hope of seeing anyone for days!’

      The tick in the eyeball was a freak thing to happen. I was actually standing outside and a big gust of dusty wind blew into my eyes. I thought I just had dust in my eye until the next morning when it just wouldn’t wash out. The doctors had never seen anything like it 8O

  50. Linda Vernon / Jan 5 2013 3:19 am

    OMG Dianne! I’m still laughing about you tripping on the bedspread and falling out the window. I hope to see a movie about your life someday! LOL!! I think the only remedy for your accident prone nature would be to order yourself a human-sized hamster exercise ball and stay in it!! And 110 per hour? or per day? I’m such a nervous Nellie on the roads, I would have had a nervous breakdown just riding in the car with my husband driving at 110 miles an hour! HA!

    • diannegray / Jan 5 2013 7:39 am

      That is the speed limit on the outback roads! I’m a nervous Nellie passenger as well and was a wreck by the time we got home (covered in poo!)

      Bedspreads can be very dangerous things (for me) :D

      • Linda Vernon / Jan 6 2013 6:02 am

        I’m going to be thinking of you, Dianne, every time I make my bed now.LOL! :D I’m so glad you made it home safely poo and all. Hopefully you will never, ever have to do that again!! :D

  51. Janna G. Noelle / Jan 5 2013 3:40 am

    Dianne, you and I would make a good pair: you’re accident-prone and I’m a paranoiac disaster theorist who’s hyper-vigilant to potential dangers. We could lay odds which of us would prevail. :)

    P.S. Happy New Year!

    • diannegray / Jan 5 2013 7:40 am

      LOL – that’s brilliant, Janna! What a great pair we’d make ;)

      Happy New Year to you too, my friend! :D

  52. Sheila Morris / Jan 5 2013 6:02 am

    Clearly I am late to this party, but I think Bloggers for Peace is a GREAT Idea!! I will try to find the sign for our blog, too. Can I just add that you are a disaster waiting to happen…Geez Louise…how in the world have you ever survived??? But, thank goodness you did. We are the better for it.

    • diannegray / Jan 5 2013 7:43 am

      You’re never too late for any of my parties, Sheila!

      I like the idea of Bloggers for Peace as well. Kozo is an absolute gem ;)

      I’m not sure how I’ve survived – good luck rather than good management. You know what they say ‘what doesn’t kill us…’

      I’m so glad you’re glad I’m alive. Me too! :D

  53. The Wrought Writer / Jan 5 2013 5:44 pm

    Oh, I’m so sorry but I had a few good chuckles over some of your misfortunes. I’ve always had a bit of a sick sense of humour! But…I did feel for you…the pain you’ve had to endure…I believe the road trip may have been the worst by far! ;)

    • diannegray / Jan 6 2013 7:22 am

      I agree, the road trip was the worst – but I can still laugh about it (luckily)! :D

  54. Jenny Ackland / Jan 5 2013 7:21 pm

    Wow it’s always a little intimidating coming here to comment because there are so many people here, feels like a party where I don’t know anyone and I just hang by the wall! I love your road signs and I have to say, road trips: I’m in. I love ‘em, can’t get enough of them. And also blogging for peace, I’m in for that too. Not sure how much/many of either I’ll do before March.

    • diannegray / Jan 6 2013 7:26 am

      Thanks for joining in, Jenny – it’s great to see you here ;) I think everyone here just hangs by the wall – some know each other, but most don’t.

      Normally I love road trips and I’ve done that trip many times before, just never with the dogs :D

      Bloggers for peace is a great idea and if you get a chance to check out Kozo’s blog at some stage, that would be great! :D

  55. Irish Katie / Jan 6 2013 8:05 am

    Those signs are just AMAZING … I have not ever seen such road signs before. Oh lord, if I was planning to visit Australia before…omg … what am I in for there?!?!? lol

    Now, as to the accidents…holy crap!!! *mentally wishes your change #3 comes true*

    • diannegray / Jan 6 2013 8:25 am

      Thanks Katie! I hope 3 comes true too (for my sake) ;)

      The road signs are amazing – I love the one where the bull meets the car 8O

  56. Lynda / Jan 6 2013 8:32 am

    Ooooh, Dianne, I hope you don’t mind, but you had me roaring with laughter about your list of accidents…

    I’m sitting here with a giant bandage on my left wrist from two 1X4X12 ft planks that fell on it when at the hardware store. (bruised, and two one inch cuts). On my right hand I am sporting a bandaid on my index finger from reaching into the dish drainer and finding a knife that had fallen out of the utensil holder, and yet another bandaid on my thumb from trying to grab my seam ripper when it dropped and fell between my legs this morning. Oh, speaking of dropping, I tried to catch the pruning shears, business end first, last month and probably needed a stitch or two, but managed to heal it on my own. :(

    I think that you and I should never travel together, nor go to a glass/knife/saw/fireworks factory, or shark tank! Then again, maybe our abilities for self mutilation would be cancelled out in the presence of one another? ;)
    OXO

    • diannegray / Jan 6 2013 9:27 am

      Oh, Lynda!!! You are really banged up at the moment you poor dear :( I’ve got the scars on my hands from knives in the dishdrainer as well but I don’t think I’ve ever had anything fall on me in a Hardware store – touch wood (pardon the pun!) You sound very similar to me and I think if we holidayed together we would have to bring along our own paramedic! :D

      Stay safe (I can talk – not) and have a wonderful new year! :D

  57. 4amWriter / Jan 6 2013 9:25 pm

    Ack, my husband just messed around with the circuit breakers and knocked out the power and erased my last comment to you!!

    This post made me laugh, Dianne, although I feel awful for those incidents. You are one tough cookie!

    I’m not too klutzy, as I’m hyperaware of my surroundings. However, I am klutzy when I’m skiing. I have fallen off the chair lift, skiied into a queue of people, skiied off the mountain into trees…I don’t ski anymore. Instead, I hang out in the lodge and drink.

    I love the bloggers for peace widget/tag. I think that’s an awesome idea.

    • diannegray / Jan 7 2013 6:39 am

      I hate it when you spend all that time on a comment and then it vanishes – so frustrating, so thank you for persisting with mine!

      I’ve never been skiing, but I have been on a toboggan in the snow an I ended up in a creek (it was freezing) so I’ve never been keen to do that again :D I hope you didn’t fall too far off the chair lift (those things go high!) Best idea to hang out at the lodge, it’s a much safer option!

      So glad you like the bloggers for peace – it’s a pretty cool idea :D

  58. Corner of Confessions / Jan 7 2013 2:30 am

    Bloggers for Peace? How awesome! I’m going to join the blogging mission. I will link their page with the image but reference you with a pingback when I get around to my peace blog post. Thanks for sharing!

    • diannegray / Jan 7 2013 7:21 am

      No problems at all. Its a great idea and Kozo is wonderful! I know it seems like an enormous task, but it’s got to start somewhere and you never know – baby steps may lead to something bigger :D With everything that happened in the world in 2012 – someone has to start somewhere to try and change things :D

      Best of luck with the peace blog post – I’ll be looking out for it ;)

  59. buttonw / Jan 8 2013 9:48 am

    Hi Dianne – I lived in Perth, Western Australia for 3 years (1997-2000), and twice I made the pilgrimage via bus from Perth to Sydney as part of a large group of International college-age students. On the first cross-country trip, our bus broke down somewhere in the middle of the Outback, and we ended up having to stay for 3 days in an abandoned sheep-sheering shed while our bus driver hitch-hiked his way across the desert, trying to find the parts that were needed to repair the engine. This would have been bad enough on its own, but we had just returned from a 2 month long mission trip to Kathmandu, Nepal, where I had been diagnosed with a case of worms (yes, like the kind that dogs get) and abandoned sheep-sheering sheds aren’t exactly known for their beautiful restroom accommodations… Needless to say, your dog diarrhea story brought back a lot of (not so) fond memories. :)

    • diannegray / Jan 8 2013 10:08 am

      Oh my! What a terrible experience for you. It would have been HOT and the rest rooms very uncomfortable and icky! One day you must write a story about this trip. I hope the worms are completely cured now (sometimes these things hang around for years).

  60. bluebee / Jan 18 2013 9:50 pm

    LOL! :-D Sorry :-(

    • diannegray / Jan 26 2013 5:44 pm

      So glad this gave you a good giggle, Bluebee :D

  61. Lynda / Jan 19 2013 6:56 am

    I have nothing to add and everything to gain from this post and your reader comments! Thank you, Dianne!

    • Lynda / Jan 19 2013 6:58 am

      Ooops… I think this is in the wrong spot! Sorry.

      • diannegray / Jan 19 2013 7:50 am

        LOL! :D That doesn’t worry me at all!

  62. Peter / Jan 26 2013 11:19 pm

    Diane, Diane, Diane… what we are to do with you?

    I laughed so hard I cried. The accident with the pipe snake struck home the hardest having done similar but oh my — with your proclivities we’re all lucky your still alive!

    Keep on writing. Just don’t travel with any more doggies.

    cheers,

    Peter

    • diannegray / Jan 27 2013 7:19 am

      I’m glad you understand the pipe snake thing, I don’t think many others knew what I was talking about – but they do tend to flick around a lot! ;)

      There will definitely be no more travelling with the doggies – they’re here now and that’s where they’ll be staying for the rest of their lives (I hope they’re happy about that!)

      Thanks for coming by, Peter. I’m glad this post gave you a good chuckle :D

  63. eof737 / Feb 1 2013 6:15 pm

    I like your three areas and by now I hope you are accident cured… and fancy free. :-)

    • diannegray / Feb 2 2013 6:48 am

      I haven’t had an accident since writing this post, so I’m hoping it rid me of my bad luck (touch wood!) ;)

  64. Naomi Baltuck / Apr 11 2013 9:42 am

    So glad you lived to tell the tale!

    • diannegray / Apr 11 2013 4:08 pm

      I should have blown up the picture, Naomi and said he was HUGE! LOL ;)

  65. Don't Quote Lily / May 22 2013 2:25 am

    How’d I miss this post? Unbelievable… No offense but how are you still alive and functioning? Lol. Oh man.

    • diannegray / May 22 2013 6:07 am

      LOL – I’m not sure how you missed it unless I posted it when you were on holidays in Puerto Rico. I’m still alive – functioning is another thing altogether! ;)

      • Don't Quote Lily / May 22 2013 6:39 am

        OH YEAH, I was in PR in January! Oh man, so glad I was able to read it after all. ;)

  66. Pagadan / May 22 2013 2:20 pm

    So, was the window open or closed and what floor were you on? And did you keep the bedspread?

    • diannegray / May 22 2013 2:22 pm

      The window was open (with no screen). I was on the first floor. I kept the bedspread LOL :D

      • Pagadan / May 23 2013 12:00 am

        Well, that’s a lot better than falling through a closed window… I’m relieved. Thanks.

  67. londonmum / May 23 2013 11:43 pm

    oh my goodness, just read this and can’t believe you have all those things happen to you???! the tick thing did gross me out though. I read it to my husband who looked equally horrified. I wish you better luck in the future :)

    • diannegray / May 24 2013 6:33 am

      I’d like to say I haven’t had accidents like any of these for a while, but I don’t want to jinx myself ;) Needless to say, I’ve never met anyone else who has had a tick in their eye 8O

  68. the eternal traveller / May 24 2013 7:14 pm

    Dianne I can’t believe I’m only reading this hilarious post now, after following the link from your most recent one. Oh, this has made me cringe…I’m not into pain, especially if it’s self inflicted. Stay safe and stay away from windows!

    • diannegray / May 25 2013 5:49 am

      Fingers crossed that I’m over my ‘falling out of windows’ days! Thanks so much for following the link to read and comment :D

  69. restlessjo / May 26 2013 7:10 am

    Good grief, woman, it’s a wonder you can still hold a pen! :)

    • diannegray / May 26 2013 7:17 am

      LOL! I’m hoping my clumsy days are over *touch wood* :D

Trackbacks

  1. Three “Little” Things to Change | Author Mccloskey Speaks
  2. DIE KISSING « hastywords
  3. Seducing The Demons & Blogging For Peace « moderndayruth
  4. An Added Extra – Bloggers for Peace « Becoming a writer
  5. I don’t scare easily, until… | Dianne Gray author
  6. Sanding and thinking | Dianne Gray author
  7. Send lawyers guns and money | Dianne Gray author

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,909 other followers

%d bloggers like this: