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September 12, 2012 / diannegray

That Fickle Finger of Fate

I caused a car accident this morning. It’s springtime and a beautiful day and I was walking happily to the city to grab my 7am coffee (yes – you heard right – 7am coffee).

Cars were lining up to get into the car park and I walked behind the last one to get to the coffee shop (it’s where the footpath is – so I was ‘legal’ as they say). As I was walking behind the car at the back of the line it began to quickly reverse. This is where five months of Wii Fit ski jumping came into play and I diligently sprung out of the way (like a spider monkey). The guy in the car saw me at the last second and slammed on the brakes. Now the lady in the car in front of him and the one in front of her were also reversing (for reasons that are unknown to humankind because they’re all supposed to be moving FORWARD!) so she reverses straight into him and the car in front of her reverses into her.

CRUNCH. CRUNCH.

Oops. Sorry. Check to make sure all parties are okay… Go grab my coffee.

This (like most things that happen to me) got me thinking about timing and synchronicity. If I hadn’t taken those three extra seconds to pull my sock from the dog’s mouth just before I left the house to get the coffee, I would have been three seconds ahead of time and not behind the car when it began to reverse. This, in turn, would have led to the car backing out successfully and the two in front backing out with no slamming of breaks or crunching of bumpers.

Several years ago a friend of mine (Bob, who I bought my beautiful German Shepherd from) was driving through Sydney in his truck. Two hundred metres away some guys were having a shootout at KFC (as you do) and one of the stray bullets went past some buildings, through trees, across a five lane highway and struck him in the head. Firstly, he managed to pull the truck over to the edge of the highway and secondly, he managed avoid hitting any other cars on the road. Unfortunately, the bullet killed him within those few seconds as he controlled his truck (a true hero in my eyes). This is synchronicity to the max.  As one of his mates said at the time, ‘If he had so much as sneezed that morning walking to the truck – the bullet would have missed.’

There are amazing stories like this everywhere. When I hear about them I have to think – maybe it was just ‘meant to be’ – because there is really no other way my mind can comprehend the mechanics behind such incredible things.

Do you ever think of these things and wonder why they happen? Do you have a story like this? Or am I just a little too intense for my own good!

{BTW for those who are interested – I have added some more great blogger’s comments to my Memories and Dreams link above}

Photo courtesy of: darngoodyarn.com
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134 Comments

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  1. bodhisattvaintraining / Sep 12 2012 4:23 pm

    as a Buddhist I believe in karma (causes and conditions, not the popular what goes around comes around) but yes I am fascinated by karma – the why the how of happenings like this…

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:50 pm

      I don’t necessarily believe in the ‘what goes around comes around’ karma either (too many reasons why to post here) – but I understand your thoughts on causes and conditions. This is a highly interesting subject and I’m so glad you came in to comment :)

      Like

  2. Bonnie at {PaperKeeper} / Sep 12 2012 4:26 pm

    If you are too intense for your own good, then I’m doomed! I think like this all the time, ponder the what-it’s and the almosts…it is amazing to me how much power and significance just a single moment can hold. I think you are right, these stories are all around us, and I wonder how many we never even know about or realize. It makes me think of the butterfly/chaos theory…

    Of course you’d ask if we have any of our stories…I am sure I must, but can I think of one right now? Maybe I could if only I had just…..
    :)

    great post! xo

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:32 pm

      Hahaha – thanks Bonnie! I’m sure there’s one in there somewhere!

      I know you think like me and are in awe of every moment. Sometimes I get in the car think – what am I synchronising myself to now? Is there someone ten miles away and are we on a collision course?

      Oh dear, I think it’s the creative minds we have :)

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      • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:39 pm

        Sorry, Bonnie! I’ll ‘edit’ that now :) Silly me (slap on wrist)!

        Like

      • Bonnie at {PaperKeeper} / Sep 12 2012 4:40 pm

        No worries..it gave me a good laugh! No slaps!! Please! :)

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      • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:50 pm

        Oh dear. No more wine for me!

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      • Bonnie at {PaperKeeper} / Sep 12 2012 4:51 pm

        I couldn’t reply above…never question the wine! I love the little things…this one was fun(ny) :)

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      • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:54 pm

        Oh dear – I’m still laughing :D

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      • Bonnie at {PaperKeeper} / Sep 12 2012 4:56 pm

        And I am wishing I had some wine, but now it is too late…sigh…there’s always tomorrow! :D

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      • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 5:00 pm

        I must stop saying – ‘oh dear’ at some point. It’s been a very fun afternoon.

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      • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:42 pm

        All fixed now – I knew I shouldn’t have opened that bottle of wine earlier this afternoon!

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  3. bulldogsturf / Sep 12 2012 4:29 pm

    I wonder so many times on the same subject… IF only I had..??? and then again, is this not the hand of fate…??

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    • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:36 pm

      And then we wonder why – particularly when this happens to someone we know.

      My mother calls me a fatalist because when things happen I say to her that they were meant to be (I try not to say it too much because she gets angry with me. She’s 83 and a force to be reckoned with!)

      Like

  4. dennisberry / Sep 12 2012 4:43 pm

    I’m glad you weren’t injured, Dianne. It’s the little things in life that can be the most momentous, aren’t they?

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    • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:53 pm

      So true, Dennis! Thank you for wishing me well :) It wasn’t really a good start to the day and I’m hoping to stay safe until bedtime!

      Thank you for coming by to comment :D

      Like

  5. kdunn5372 / Sep 12 2012 4:52 pm

    This is one of those things that are thought about on a normal basis. But then again this is one of those things were you think/believe that everything happens for a reason….

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    • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 4:56 pm

      I’m so glad others think of this!

      And I believe as you do – everything happens for a reason :)

      Like

  6. bittercharm / Sep 12 2012 5:07 pm

    I hope you are okay, and the incident left you with nothing more than just chain of thoughts, It was really sad to read about your friend who went in so unfair way. For some reason your article got me thinking about the Ashton Kutcher movie. “The butterfly effect”. Recently, I was talking to my husband on the similar topic and we ended up discussing how every event/thing/being is chained in the balance of its occurrence. its an amazing and fascinating concept. Just like You and bodhisattvaintraining I do not believe in ‘what goes around comes around’ Karma, cause I have seen people get away with a lot little than they ought to, but the sheer order of things/events around us, makes me believe in GOD a bit more.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 6:45 am

      I am fine and thank you so much for asking – I really appreciate it :)

      I absolutely love ‘The Butterfly Effect’ – it’s an amazing movie and I’ve watched it a few times now.

      Karma is an interesting concept and probably worthy of an entire post on its own. Thank you so much for commenting. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.

      Like

  7. justinwriter / Sep 12 2012 5:18 pm

    Oh, Dianne, you had me laughing with the Wii training. You reminded me of the flying nun for some reason. :) I hope the people affected really are okay. And sorry to hear about your friend. How awful. I hear things like that happening sometimes and it does seem preordained. One that freaks me out is the recent Batman movie shootings where one woman was shot through the brain. Fortunately for her, she had an abnormality, a channel of fluid running through her brain. Guess where the bullet went? Yep, through that channel, missing vital areas. That’s not just luck, that was meant to be. Things have happened to me that seemed ‘meant to be’, including life and death situations, but the happiest one was when I met my wife because of a train strike. Thank you, train drivers. :)

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 6:52 am

      Good grief, Justin! I read about that – what the hell? They never knew she had an abnormality and that’s where the bullet went. Bittercharm (above) mentioned The Butterfly Effect and when I heard this story it really reminded me of that movie! There is absolutely no earthly explanation for that!

      I love the fact that you met your wife because of a train strike! :D

      Like

  8. Pat / Sep 12 2012 7:06 pm

    Interesting post, not so happy serendipity working – but as a result I clicked on your Last Unicorn post. Exactly right for me today.
    I have re-blogged it. Hope that’s OK?
    And thank you.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 12 2012 10:40 pm

      Love it, Pat. Thank you :)

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      • Pat / Sep 12 2012 11:46 pm

        A pleasure. Nice blog BTW. :-)

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  9. artfulanxiety / Sep 12 2012 7:17 pm

    I love to think about this! I believe a lot in the vibrational theory, string theory/law of attraction that whatever we’re vibrating will attract to us. I had an interesting experience today in regard to all of that. Before I started my day at work I asked for everything to go smoothly and for everyone to be extra nice. While I worked, everyone I met were exceptional people. When I returned from breaks, my coworker would tell me about a really rude person I “just missed”.
    In conclusion, love your post!

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 6:57 am

      That’s a wonderful thing to happen! Keep doing it :D

      I had a friend who used to say ‘I’m going to have a terrible day at work today!’ So I’d tell them to say instead that they were going to have a great day (all the way to work in the car) and it would work – I know because it certainly works for me. It’s a bit like meditation – you set your body up to expect something and if that something doesn’t happen you’re strong enough to deal with it because your mind is in a better place :)

      Like

  10. on thehomefrontandbeyond / Sep 12 2012 8:11 pm

    makes you think – but not too hard- there is no understanding life

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  11. Aimée Myers / Sep 12 2012 8:33 pm

    Dianne, you didn’t cause the accident. The guy in the car should have checked all of his mirrors before putting the car into reverse! Basic driver training!
    Nonetheless, this post is very thought-provoking. From now on, I’m going to be thinking, “If only I had done such-and-such, then…”

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 7:00 am

      At the time I thought it was my fault, but the more I thought about it the more I realised it wasn’t. Drivers are supposed to give way to pedestrians!

      So glad you liked this post :)

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  12. Richard Dancer / Sep 12 2012 8:36 pm

    Mind games, Dianne! The stuff of which novels and films are made. Fun to speculate but ‘if only’s’ and ‘what might have been’s’ are futile. Imagine if you had left the sock in your dog’s mouth and arrived in time to apprehend the man who had just robbed the shop on the corner, thereby preventing a wild car chase down the high street and a bloody shoot-out with the police – of course this had already happened, before you arrived! Your moment was a relatively mild scene of bumper bashing and coffee…
    Sad about your truck driver friend – courageous story, but again, futile to speculate on how it may have been different. What happens, happens – an often unkind reality of life.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 7:11 am

      Oh, Richard – what a fabulous story (and I thought I had an overactive imagination – I wish I’d written that one)!

      I think it’s a human thought process when thing happen to say – but what if? The world would be a strange place if we just shrugged our shoulders after an event and said – oh, well.

      I don’t watch much television, but when I do I like to watch ‘Seconds from Disaster’. This breaks down every aspect of an accident and I find it intriguing. But the thing with this is that it brings to light mistakes made in an attempt to stop the same thing from happening again.

      Naturally, my little bump was nothing in the scheme of things, but Bob’s story is different. His death actually changed laws about gangs and I’m pretty sure (if there is a heaven) he’d be looking down and thinking his death made a difference and maybe that difference will stop this sort of thing from happening to someone else.

      Thanks for your comment – always appreciated :)

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      • Richard Dancer / Sep 13 2012 4:35 pm

        Speculation is a fairly natural human response. I agree. But for me it is to accept and assimilate what actually happened that is important. The constructive response to Bob’s death is wonderful. So much better than looking for scapegoats.

        BTW your fertile imagination can write many of those alternative ‘sliding doors’ stories.

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      • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 5:13 pm

        :D Thank you!

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  13. poetmcgonagall / Sep 12 2012 9:10 pm

    I think that while these incidences of seeming synchronicity have great significance for the people involved, they’re a product of random chance. To believe otherwise means the universe is watching out for you, personally, intent on reward or punishment. We focus on them because they stand out, unlike all the times when nothing bad or good happened.

    As to karma, that’s just a Buddhist take on the idea of an avenging god, with fuzzier rules.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 7:32 am

      Randomness v the watching universe is probably worthy of an entire post on its own! This all depends on whether or not there is a fixed natural order to the cosmos and people with different ideas and beliefs can argue for or against this until the cows come home :)

      I find the quantum world concerning this incredibly interesting (but by no means have a scientific bone in my body) :D

      Like

  14. angloswiss / Sep 12 2012 9:10 pm

    LOL don’t know whether to cry or to laugh. I am accident prone, falling down in wrong places, but up to now have picked myself up. Did break the bottom half of my left arm on tower Bridge on a London holiday. think the hospital stay in an english hospital was more painful than the actual arm breakage. Broke the top half of my left arm a few years later by tripping up on the cat lead (blind cat – long story) and landed full on the concrete of the patio. Ambulance emergency, off to hospital and a one week stay for a complicated breakage. That’s life. wont start on my car accident, could go on too long. Keep smiling – it can only get better.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 9:32 am

      Hahaha – oh no! Sorry for the giggle! Some people are accident prone and I really don’t know why. I’m one of them, but my accidents are minor and not bone breaking. I’ve never been in hospital in England, but it sounds like it was a real ‘experience’.

      It sounds like you have a very good philosophical outlook on life.

      Thank you so much for sharing this :)

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  15. Don't Quote Lily / Sep 12 2012 9:59 pm

    I’m sorry about your friend. :( Glad you’re okay too, thank goodness for the Wii Fit ski jumping. ;)

    I think about this kind of stuff all the time. I usually think, “man, if it would have been a few minutes later, this wouldn’t have happened” but what do we know? And thinking that we could have changed something won’t actually change it. Maybe some things are destined to happen, even if they’re tragic. I’m always so torn on the whole “meant to be” thing. I never know what to think!

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 7:55 am

      Thank you, Lily. I was telling Richard (in another comment on here) that Bob’s death changed the laws regarding gangs and this is a positive outcome. I don’t know if I would like to know that something would happen to me to change laws (what a scary thought!).

      You’re right about the whole ‘meant to be’ thing – it does my head in sometimes! :)

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  16. Spider42 / Sep 12 2012 10:29 pm

    Wow. An amazing story about your friend, that is really one of those things that kinda stays with you.
    I love what-if as a concept but realised that it can drive you nutty if you focus too hard on it. And the moments you spoke about, I can’t off the top remember any particularly intense one that falls into that category, but the principle applies to a lot of things I think – including being terribly late and stopping to check yourself in a mirror one last time or needing to have a drink of water (etc, etc) and missing a green traffic light by a hair.
    This is kinda what I meant about what-if btw, if you think on it seriously, there is no end to it more often in our lives than we’d care to think about. :D The only lesson I take away is that you can try your best to control your life and plan and everything, it’s good, but there are no guarantees about what can happen when.

    Regarding the cars, it’s unfortunate and all, but I firmly believe that if you are driving -forward or backward – if you cant be bothered to look around properly while you’re doing it and need to brake like that (its not like you were a tiny stray dog that darted across or anything) then you deserve the damage to your car at the least. :P I got no sympathy at all.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:03 am

      Hahaha – oh those poor people! I think the fact that they’re going to work, have their minds on other things and maybe rushing were all factors. I find that particular place where I was walking is quite dangerous. The strange thing is (and I don’t really want to get into the male/female drivers bit – but I’m going to) young female drivers often zoom in without looking and the older male drivers always stop to let me cross. I’m not sure why, but I seem to have had several near misses in that place and this was the first time it had happened with a man at the wheel (however the driver in front was a young female).

      The entire what-if notion is really interesting and I’m glad you enjoyed reading it (it really does make people think). Thanks so much for dropping by :D

      Like

  17. Anna Scott Graham / Sep 12 2012 10:36 pm

    So many random happenings; we just never know when we’re going to be hit, or missed. I don’t ponder it often, but when writing… heh heh heh.

    Bless Bob’s heart, definitely heroic measures under the most difficult circumstances. I have learned to accept all that comes my way as good, no matter how odd or unplanned. Reasons exist for all these occurrences, even if we never see them.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:09 am

      Thanks Anna :) There is that old adage – everything that happens, happens for a reason. I think this has come about because as humans we need to find reasons behind these things (particularly unpleasant things).

      As an author it’s amazing how many news stories I read and think ‘If I wrote something like that in a fiction novel – no one would believe it’ and as some editors say ‘it sounds contrived’ (oh how I hate that word!)

      No one really knows how Bob managed to drive that truck and park it safely on the side of the highway – I guess it’s something we’ll never know.

      Like

  18. amb / Sep 12 2012 10:59 pm

    What a great post! I think about timing and cause and effect ripples often – probably because I am perpetually 5 minutes late for everything. If I was on time, I might be an entirely different person :-)

    Like

  19. maggiemyklebust / Sep 12 2012 11:26 pm

    you are definitely not alone… I think about things like this all the time. I’m glad you weren’t hurt and feel bad about your friend.

    Like

  20. Rick Mallery / Sep 12 2012 11:55 pm

    And I think about reverse-synchronicity, such as how many times does that extra second to pull the sock from the dog’s mouth keep us from some fateful event. If Ian Thorpe remembers to take his camera with him instead of taking time to go back for it at the hotel when he realizes he’s forgotten it, he would have been on the south tower observation deck when the planes hit the World Trade Center. Or the woman who jaywalked to get to the subway, but stopped when a car, driven by Gwyneth Paltrow, screeched to a halt. She did the chicken dance for a few seconds deciding whether to just continue across the street or get back on the sidewalk. She continued across the street only to find the subway doors shutting in her face. Two or three seconds, the difference between getting to work on time and being a safe distance away when the planes hit the towers.

    So it works both ways, and once I understood that, the only mystery of synchronicity left to consider is why all this still happens even though Sting and his buddies promised in that album that they’d be watching our every breath, our every step.

    Glad your safe, Dianne!

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:19 am

      Hahaha – thanks Rick! If Bob had taken a detour that day, that bullet would have just whizzed off and hit a building or something and this post would never have happened. It does my head in sometimes!

      You hear all the time about someone missing a plane that crashes or (in my case) a child having a hissy fit in a car on the way to the xray room at the hospital and me having to turn back home – missing the guy who walked in to the xray room (when we were supposed to be there) with a gun and shooting the doctor and nurse dead (a marital dispute). I often think of that day and wonder how much our lives would have changed if we’d witnessed that or lived to tell the story! (maybe I should have used that story for this post!)

      I love that Police album :D

      Like

  21. adinparadise / Sep 13 2012 12:17 am

    I don’t think that Fate’s finger is as fickle as we may believe, Dianne. As Shakespeare once said, “With domineering hand, she moves the turning wheel, like currents in a treacherous bay swept to and fro.”
    I’m so sorry about what happened to your friend, Bob. :(

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:21 am

      Thank you, Ad. I love the Shakespearian quote – what magnificent words!

      Like

  22. Denise Hisey / Sep 13 2012 12:36 am

    Dianne, it is strange how we are all living a real-life game of dominoes….all affecting one another in a continual string of events. Your friend Bob was a true hero….he obviously thought of others in his last moments. You must have been blessed to call him friend, as I’m sure he was to call you friend, too.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:23 am

      That is such a lovely sentiment, Denise. Thank you so much.

      I love the ‘dominos’ theory – a great analogy :)

      Like

  23. markharwoodwriter / Sep 13 2012 1:17 am

    I’m sorry about your friend. Sounds shallow now, I suppose, but when I started reading this post of yours, I thought of the movie Sliding Doors. It’s about a woman who misses a train and doesn’t miss a train–the movie goes back and forth, showing how different her life would be one way or the other. Anyhow, time for MY coffee. Hope your morning gets better.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 9:48 am

      Thanks, Mark. I thought of Sliding Doors as well. Great concept.

      Enjoy your coffee! :D

      Like

  24. Sheila Morris / Sep 13 2012 1:26 am

    Dianne…I do indeed thank about timing as the Creator of opportunities and mishaps and in the extreme, the happenstance of disasters. Timing is typically beyond our control but it is the checkered flag at the end of the race we all chase.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:25 am

      Wonderful, Sheila! Your beautiful words never cease to amaze me :)

      Like

  25. ocdreader/Elisa / Sep 13 2012 1:46 am

    I am so glad you are OK! A spider monkey – you are very agile! :) Thank goodness for Wii fit!! Whenever I am late, or I stop for something I imagine it is the reason I didn’t get into an accident or missed something horrible. Mainly to make myself feel better, but there is something to that chain of events thing, just not sure what. I also love the girlie movie Sliding Doors.
    I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That is terrible but he is extremely amazing to have pulled over and stopping before leaving. What a good man.
    Your posts are always so thoughtful! They always leave me with so many things to ponder – thank you.

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    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:39 am

      Thank you, Elisa! I had to add the nimble spider monkey thing in – that’s what it felt like although others watching may have thought I jerked a bit and stumbled! LOL

      Sliding Doors is a great example of this and I’m glad you mentioned it. The concepts are amazing (I also like the multiverse theory where every possible outcome is happening at the same time) hmmm now I’m thinking of another post :D

      I love your attitude because I often think like that. If I’m running late I like the concept that I may have missed something that wasn’t supposed to happen. I was just recalling with Rick (in a previous comment) that my son had a hissy fit in the car on the way to have an xray at the hospital one day. It was so bad I had to turn back and take him home. As it happened, a man walked into the xray room in the hospital where we were supposed to be and shot the doctor and nurse dead (marital dispute). I was so frustrated and angry with my son at the time, but when my doctor (who had sent us there) called to see if I was okay I can’t tell you how shocked I was!That was truly a ‘what-if’ moment.

      I have never, since that day, worried about being late or missing an appointment because I believe there may be a very good reason behind it.

      Thank you for the lovely compliments *insert blushing cheeks here* :D

      Like

  26. MR Graham / Sep 13 2012 1:53 am

    It’s a crazy old world, isn’t it? I do spend a lot of time thinking about cause and effect, purpose and meaning. As a Catholic, I believe that there is a Plan. There has to be; I don’t think I could deal with the chaos, otherwise.
    But at the same time, I always have to make myself remember that if I had taken those extra thirty seconds to finish my coffee — if I had put my book down instead of reading to the end of that page, if I had worn flats instead of heels, if I hadn’t picked up that penny — I wouldn’t be asking the question in the first place. Surely there’s a balance between the things that forward the Plan and the ones that are just unhappy coincidence.
    You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but how many other factors went into that situation? The man in the car had to look back to step on his brake. Someone in there had to decide to back up in the first place. Someone was probably just a few seconds late for work. Someone might not have had their coffee. It’s all of the little things that combine to form a big thing.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 9:53 am

      So true! Like any event there are a series of events leading up to it.

      Great comment – thank you so much for sharing :)

      Like

  27. 4amWriter / Sep 13 2012 4:31 am

    Oh wow, what a tragic story (not your coffee incident, but your friend in the truck). I totally think about things like that ALL the time. My friend’s brother was going to work one day, and he had to cross the NJ bridge (I think it was NJ, somewhere like that). Not two seconds after he crossed it, the bridge collapsed. I mean, he saw it in his rearview mirror–collapsing. Same deal. If he’d been stopped at a traffic light earlier, had an extra cup of coffee, anything, he would have been on that bridge when it collapsed.

    Now you’ve got me thinking I need to use my Wii Fit.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:52 am

      That’s amazing about your friend’s brother – it’s all in the timing! He must have been so shocked when the bridge collapsed behind him. You have to wonder if it changed his outlook on life at all. You’d be thinking ‘Why me? Why did I miss this and others didn’t?’ It’s an incredible thing to think about!

      Yes – you should use the Wii Fit just in case you need to do those moves at any moment! I also love the dancing steps one, but I don’t think that would have helped (unless I need to dance my way out of trouble one day)! :D

      Like

  28. John / Sep 13 2012 5:19 am

    Wow, what a post. Glad your OK, and sorry your friend was victim of idiots with guns. KFC in Australia? Cool. I understand what you are saying and have wondered many times… Did I turn left when I shoulda went right? I say it all happens according to God’s will. Nothing in this universe could unfold other than the way He ordains things to happen.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 8:53 am

      Thank you, John. I’m glad I’m okay as well :)

      Like

  29. jmmcdowell / Sep 13 2012 6:29 am

    I wonder about those coincidences and synchronicities all the time, too. One different decision, one delay, one spur of the moment change of plans—and life could have gone so differently. The story of your friend is so tragic. I hope I would be thinking of the safety of others if something similar happened to me.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 9:00 am

      People are still amazed and astounded that he could do that being mortally wounded, and I guess we’ll never know how he did it! I don’t know if I could manage it.

      I think timing is something we all think about (particularly after a close call) but it is certainly something I think about a lot:)

      Like

  30. ripe red berries / Sep 13 2012 7:36 am

    nice writing – i too think of all the ‘what if’s’ and have had a few of my own…luckily all ended up ok – but I will never forget one, still a very vivid image – driving around a VERY sharp and tight turn high on a hillside while traveling NZ – a car came whipping around a blind corner (mostly on our side), headlights blinding us (ours illuminated the fear in their eyes – haunting), sheer drop down the mountainside on one side, the other, the speeding car – darkness – we missed each other – they swerved, we swerved, and all was well – thankfully, it could have been tragic for so many if either car hadn’t done what each had done, when it was done…phew!

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 10:02 am

      Amazing story! It could have been Salmon Rushdie in that oncoming car. I say that because when he was in NZ he could not take the planes to travel around (because of the fatwa) so a friend I know drove him around. But Salmon wanted to drive himself and he is a fairly fast driver, leaving my friends fingernail marks in the dashboard!

      It’s amazing how the timing of these things determines that moment (when both cars are hitting the corner at the same instant) and the fact of going a little faster or slower can negate the entire experience!

      Thank you for sharing this story – great! :D

      Like

  31. ripe red berries / Sep 13 2012 7:36 am

    forgot to say – glad you were ok…(: sorry for the cars…

    Like

  32. Janna Noelle / Sep 13 2012 7:46 am

    I’m glad to hear you’re okay!
    I like this post, although I have to confess, I’m not really a big believer in fate or “meant to be” in a literal sense, but I love how it plays out in stories – the “cause and effect” inevitability of them. Plus, my favourite episodes of Star Trek (and other sci-fi stories) are always the ones involving alternate dimensions where other eventualities that didn’t happen in the main timeline play out (i.e. the dimension where your dog didn’t try to eat a sock). I think I would be so stoked if physicists were able to prove the existence of alternate dimensions. In the meantime, though, I have to content myself with just thinking about how my life might have progressed if I’d chosen differently at specific points in time. I think the fact that I find myself doing this more and more is a sign that I’m getting old. :)

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 9:10 am

      Oh, Janna – don’t talk about growing old – you’ll have me thinking of mortality (a future post perhaps?:) ) Having said that, I think we are more aware as we age about the decisions we have made and everything that has brought us to this point in time (it’s good to look back and think about how everything has unfolded).

      I’m a great fan of alternate dimensions and multiverses. I like the concept of every possible combination of actions happening at the same time, somewhere! But it’s something my miniscule mind hasn’t really got a handle on yet – one day, maybe :D

      Like

  33. moderndayruth / Sep 13 2012 8:21 am

    You are not too intense – you are just PERFECT! (Nominating you once again ;))

    Like

  34. 1girl4adamwest / Sep 13 2012 8:35 am

    This is a great story! I enjoy so much how you describe! I often ponder the same…Something you do (without a second thought) in a fraction of a second could alter your life or someone else’s life forever.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 9:16 am

      I love the “Something you do (without a second thought) in a fraction of a second could alter your life or someone else’s life forever.” How incredibly true! I can relate this to the bullet and also to driving. When we drove to Cairns recently I was amazed at the amount of people who don’t understand this concept – they want to get somewhere at a certain time and don’t realise a split second on the roads can mean life or death. I’m sure a lot of people think they’re immortal and it’ll ‘never happen to them’. Big mistake!

      So glad you liked the post :D

      Like

  35. Subtlekate / Sep 13 2012 10:08 am

    Some things are absolutely meant to be. Like your reflexes and coffee.

    Like

  36. agjorgenson / Sep 13 2012 10:17 am

    Great post. I must admit that I think about these things quite a bit… kind of like when I have those pesky, but pensive deja vu experiences. I experience both of these kind of experiences as an invitation to stop and think about where I am, and where I might want to be, and how to move when those two wheres don’t match. Thanks again!

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 4:02 pm

      I’d never thought about these being related to deja vu – but this is such an interesting concept.

      Maybe it is giving us time to stop and recalibrate our actions. I love this!

      Like

  37. ramblingsfromamum / Sep 13 2012 10:24 am

    Bugga or (another Aussie expletive), I read and liked yesterday but forgot to comment (hangs head in shame). All about timing they say and luckily you weren’t injured due to your flexibility from your Wii Fit – well done you! Intense? No you’re an Author however could that be so ;-) enjoyed Di -thank you. Going for a coffee now – but hopefully unless I trip up the 3 stairs to the kitchen all will be well.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 4:07 pm

      Thank you for thinking of me and my deft flexibility :D

      Enjoy your coffee (lucky you) – I’m having a cup of tea because it’s raining too heavily to walk in and buy one :(

      Like

  38. Natalie / Sep 13 2012 2:04 pm

    Crazy! Glad to know you’re safe.

    Like

  39. jannatwrites / Sep 13 2012 2:56 pm

    I wouldn’t say you caused the accident – the drivers going in reverse did that! I’m glad you weren’t hurt. I also think about timing, both when something good happens and when something tragic occurs. I’d like to think that’s natural (otherwise I’m a complete freak :))

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 4:11 pm

      Hahahaha – you’re certainly nowhere near being a complete freak! :D

      And yes – those drivers should really have been looking behind and not making assumptions that everyone was moving (now I come to think of it – I never reverse without looking in the rear view mirror)

      Like

  40. EllaDee / Sep 13 2012 3:49 pm

    What happened to your friend Bob was shocking, senseless and very sad. You do wonder why, when something like that occurs, and have to believe the Universe has the answer even if not apparent to us. You had an interesting morning. In this case no-one was hurt. Maybe the lesson was for the commuters to not be in so much of a hurry and leave a little space. We all learn from time to time, either by near misses or harder lessons.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 4:15 pm

      Bob’s death was senseless and tragic and it is so far beyond my reasoning capability that I just shake my head.

      I couldn’t agree more with you Ella, about the lessons and the drivers! They need to learn these lessons (and it’s good they learned this one with only bumps and bruised egos) :D

      Like

  41. yepirategunn / Sep 13 2012 5:24 pm

    What starts as a little tale of a coffee suddenly turns into a dramatic and deep moment..a tragic story – and a tragedy avoided too…very powerful.

    Like

  42. Zen / Sep 13 2012 6:52 pm

    I’m glad you’re okay and you didn’t get injured. This is proof that video games do come in handy sometimes! But I’m sorry about your friend… the way he died is interesting to say the least.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 13 2012 7:03 pm

      So true, Zen! Maybe I should show this post to the video game people :)

      Yes – being shot like that just driving along the road is a very scary thought indeed.

      Like

  43. lexiesnana / Sep 14 2012 1:46 am

    This made me think that you are right.I guess If your at the wrong place at the wrong time anything can happen.I suppose it can also be the other way around,if I hadn’t been at that bowling alley forty years ago I would never have met my husband and that would be awful.Great Post.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 14 2012 7:39 am

      Hahaha – so true!! It’s amazing how we meet people and you think at any time before that first meeting (getting stuck in traffic, going to a different bowling alley, having a cold and not being able to go at all) would we have ever met that person and what would our lives be like now :D

      Like

  44. liamodell1 / Sep 14 2012 4:51 am

    Congratulations! You have been nominated for a blog award! Visit thelifeofathinker.wordpress.com for more info!

    Like

  45. Brittany / Sep 15 2012 10:20 am

    I’m new to your site and have read this and a few other of your posts. I’ll be following. I like your down to earth sense of humor. I like how you look at things. I like your writing style. I realize you’ve won awards and know you are a good writer, but I want to say ‘You’re a good writer’ as well. :)

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 15 2012 3:20 pm

      Thank you so much, Brittany! What a wonderful compliment :D

      Like

  46. kelilly / Sep 15 2012 5:15 pm

    I was reading this post and it was such a strange coincidence that I had to comment – I actually attended part of the court case for the KFC incident (I’m a journo student and we do some court reporting) . . . I’m so sorry to hear that it was your friend.
    It’s a scary thing to think about, all the little coincidences, tiny things that totally change our lives.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 15 2012 5:53 pm

      That is a coincidence indeed! Bob had a lovely family – they were so shattered by this :( It was a such an awful thing to happen.

      Thank you so much for commenting

      Like

  47. lacunakittie / Sep 15 2012 8:25 pm

    I think this way ALL of the time. Whenever I’m running late (which I HATE), I have to remind myself that there’s probably a reason for it other than I woke up late.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 15 2012 8:49 pm

      That’s a really good way to think (and not just because it takes away the frustration of being late) – I truly believe things happen for a reason :)

      Like

  48. flowermenow1 / Sep 16 2012 9:17 am

    That’s an interesting subject, as I happen to wonder whether *fate* can cause people to meet again and again in my last post. Can fate apply to love stories as well ? Accidents happen in love stories too, you think you are destined to be with someone, and all of a sudden a very big thing cuts you two apart, like you realise you are pregnant by another… And everything is over. That’s a wow bad fate thing that as well… Same kind as the brake thing!… Thanks for this story ! Wierd as I bump into it right now that I am wondering whether we should believe love is fated or not ;). Thanks for your stories ! :)

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 17 2012 8:33 am

      I definitely believe love is fated. I’ve seen some wonderful people ‘just miss’ each other and at the time that this is terrible – but as time goes by I realise that they just weren’t meant to be together.

      My mother calls me a fatalist and she’s right – everything that happens, happens for a reason and we just have to sit in that boat and float down that river of life and see where it takes us :D

      Like

  49. pernillenkl / Sep 16 2012 7:15 pm

    I often think like this as well. I mean, these are the reasons why we are born. These little perfect timings that no one can explain!

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 16 2012 7:25 pm

      I read somewhere that our chances of being born are infinitesimally small. The amount of things that need to happen for us to get here is amazing.

      Thank you so much for dropping in and commenting :)

      Like

  50. bluebutterfliesandme / Sep 17 2012 1:59 am

    I totally agree. When you are delayed because you can’t find your keys are for whatever reason…things are as they are meant to be. I did just now shed a tear for Bob. Bless you Bob.

    Like

  51. Jessica F. Hinton (@jessicafhinton) / Sep 17 2012 11:23 am

    Yes! I do think of these kinds of things often. It’s terrifying that but a second can make the difference in life or death for us. It’s terrifying and humbling. I’m glad to know that you are okay and that none were injured in the accident.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 17 2012 11:36 am

      Thank you, Jessica! And I’m so glad I’m not alone thinking of these things :)

      Like

  52. kgrafix / Sep 17 2012 1:42 pm

    Wow. Another amazing story. Thanks for sharing. I love theses stories. I have one on my blog http://kimswhatsup.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/it-really-is-a-small-world-an-amazing-story/

    Like

  53. amras888 / Sep 18 2012 11:22 pm

    A very interesting read. Thank you for following.

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 27 2012 11:29 am

      Thank you as well for coming by to comment :D

      Like

  54. foroneplease / Sep 18 2012 11:55 pm

    Wo!! :)

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 27 2012 11:30 am

      Only just saw this – thank you for dropping by :D

      Like

      • foroneplease / Sep 27 2012 10:26 pm

        wish I cud drop by more often :D soon, soon!
        P.S: dunno if I told you, loved ‘The Everything Theory’! (want morrrrrre!)

        Like

      • diannegray / Sep 28 2012 6:50 am

        Oh, so glad! :D Thank you

        Like

  55. Daphne Shadows / Sep 19 2012 9:07 am

    Wow. I think things like this all the time. This is exactly how I think!

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 19 2012 3:17 pm

      So glad to hear from you, Daphne! :D

      Great minds think alike!

      Like

  56. sampatron / Sep 30 2012 1:36 pm

    Yes, Dianne, I, too, believe that there are things “stranger than fiction” that are real. I’ve had a few in my own life, though not so disastrous as for your friend. Sometimes they seem disastrous but in retrospect we can see them for what they are, bumps (or sometimes crashes) that get us back on the track that we might not have even realized we’d strayed from. Keep musing; it’s good for the soul. Sam

    Like

    • diannegray / Sep 30 2012 10:17 pm

      Thanks, Sam. You’re so right. Sometimes when things happen we don’t realise at the time that this has changed the direction we were heading in (and this can often be a good thing) :)

      Thank you so much for coming by to read and comment :D

      Like

  57. uniqueweirdness / Oct 1 2012 11:15 am

    I do think of that a lot lately. I do not like it, but I feel very small and fragile. Does that make sense?

    Like

    • diannegray / Oct 1 2012 12:48 pm

      Absolutely. And with the things that have been going on around you, I don’t really blame you :(

      Stay strong

      Like

  58. Lynne Ayers / Oct 7 2012 9:45 am

    While incidents like these can be hard to accept, I can accept that they just happen – not Fate, not Destiny, not God’s hand – just accidents, inevitable accidents.

    Like

    • diannegray / Oct 7 2012 10:16 am

      Absolutely (unfortunately) – thank you so much for stopping by :)

      Like

Trackbacks

  1. Pirate’s Heart &The Copper Sun « moderndayruth
  2. Dream the story and write the dream « Dianne Gray author

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